Posted by: DESPERATE HUBBY | 2008/11/11


Hi , My wife and I have been married 20 years and have always had very frequent and great sex, we have also explored toys etc, we still go on a date once a week without the kids who are 17 and 14 now. recently she decided that she didnt like toys anymore, although they always have given her great orgasms, she is quite off sex and thinks that i am over sexed, we are down to less than once a week, maby twice or three times a month, she always enjoys it and has multiple orgasms,so i dont understand the change, very little sex, no toys , no shaven vagina, its like been married to a different woman. i can respect that maby she is tired with the kids and all, but she doesnt work, and i am a farmer that works from 4 am to 6 pm, and also on weekends, and im not tired, what can i do, this is even affecting our friendship, she tells me its all about sex, but for me sex is intimate and brings people closer, if it was just about sex i wouldnt be so crazy for her.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is fairly normal that as a couple grow older together that there would be natural changes in their sexual relationship over time with regards to frequency of sex, and preferences in sexual activities etc. I must compliment you as a couple who from your description have clearly prioritised and invested in your sexual relationship over time and I am sure enjoyed the benefits of an active and adventurous sexual relationship.

I would suggest that as a couple you openly and honestly discuss the changes that have occurred in your sexual relationship and the feelings that are experienced about the changes. The aim being to determine whether the changes are part of your natural changes or whether there may be other factors influencing the changes you have described.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: scar | 2008/11/13

Deshub,thanks for the respond i have tried all of this except for the toys lately i have noticed that he only wants to do it with me when he is drunk,i just think he doesnt have feelings for me anymore,i have really tried anything that a woman can do seduce her man,now i have given up and lost interest as well,because when he does do it lets say after every 3 months i just wonder why he wants it out of a sudden,i just dont initiate anymore it hurts to be rejected and i also want to feel like im still attractive

Reply to scar
Posted by: deshub | 2008/11/12

Hi Scar, from a mans opinion. buy toys, they work great beleive me, hell also be turned on just knowing you use them and every man ive spoken too gets extremely turned on watching there woman with a toy, also do things different like shave your vagina bald, dont tell him ,let him notice by himself, go out without panties in a short skirt, give him a flash in the evening, so he gets worked up waiting to get home. if all this doesnt work ill be very suprised, but then you can have fun with your toys, which of course are no replacement for intimacy, but i beleive with this approach youll get too much attention.

Reply to deshub
Posted by: SCAR | 2008/11/12

i have the smae problem the difference is its my husband who doenst want to have sex anymore and we only been married for 11 months now,he says he is not a sex machine and if im not happy or satiesfied i must go somewhere else i have tried everything but now i have given up and im sexually frustrated.

Reply to SCAR
Posted by: CLAIRE | 2008/11/12

Mr Farmer man - I have had just the opposite - I wish for a man that would devote that much time to my sexual pleasure as wellas you do with your wife - instead my ex fiance (emphasis on the ex) frowned upon buying me any form of toy - in fact his take on foreplay was rubbing my clitoris 2 times, and I mean 2 TIMES and then entering and finishing himself leaving me absolutely devastated. You wife should consider herself lucky that you are that open and willing. On a more serious side - have her check out her hormones and perhaps thyroid and cut out any possible problems there. If you wish to chat to me any further with regards to this issue you are clearly having then reach me at totalwomanATwebmailDOTcoDOTza

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