Our expert says:
I'm not quite sure what the specific problem is here - it sounds like there are two.
1) your wife's belief that her vagina will get big : does this mean will be able to contain the size of your erect penis? If this is the case it sounds like she has a fear of it being painful and so she will either avoid sex or be unable to have sex. In this case she is suffering from Vaginismus, a relatively common problem which can be treated. She should contact the SASHA helpline for a referal to a professional in your locality (0860 100 262).
2) your feeling about keeping your sexual drive under control - I think that's what you mean. If this is what you are concerned about then what I would suggest is that you discuss your concerns with her, and discuss what would be an acceptable way for you to meet your sexual needs. It must be frustrating for you, but you may not want to damage the relationship by betraying it...so consider talking about masturbation, or her stimulating you in ways other than vaginal penetration until her issues have been addressed.
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