Posted by: Worried | 2009/04/14

Sex after 40

My husband has never been a 2 or 3 x a week for making love, but now it seems even less maybe once a month. He is 46, he says that it is not something he thinks about, never has, it does not worry him. Is this normal for some men.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

sexual desire and frequency are unique to the individual, there is no average to how many times people are required to have sex to constitute a healthy relationship. it only becomes a problem if one partner requires more (or less) sex than the other. if it is a concern for you, please address this with him and both of you can come to a compromise as to the frequency of your sexual encounters.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Worried | 2009/04/15

Thank you everybody, I do feel better now, it is somthing that has always concerned me. Yes he does have a very stressful job and there are financial concerns as well, so ja lots of stree on his behalf. Stress for me means I want more, physical contact, re-assurance, etc, but I don' t want to seem clingy either. Also his mother has often complained that his dad is not that active and has never been, (creepy/weird conversation from Mom-in-law!!), hopeful as with you sex pot, prehaps when we are retired things might improve, something to look forward to. Thanks again everyone.

Reply to Worried
Posted by: Sex Pot | 2009/04/15

Hi there, sexual desire + response differs widely in people but can also b affected by outside things like stress. When my hubby was in his 40' s I often had 2 play the game of seduction so we could make love. He had a very stressful job at the time. He is now 63 + I' m 59 - our sex life now is far better than those days. No more boss chasing him on, no more work stress, no more teenagers at home. I learned + experienced my 1st. full body orgasm when I was 51. So yes, outside things certainly do impact on our sex life. Regards

Reply to Sex Pot
Posted by: Lovely | 2009/04/14

All the above is relevant to my relationship!I am 43 and my wife 35, she use to be so hot and wanting but now.....She treats our sexual relationship as only a " have to do basis" , she loves the oral thing more than anything else. She prefers oral and clitoral stimulation instead of the real macoy!By the time she gets to me i have a dry rash on my penis from all the ramming she does when i am busy satifying her.After orgasm she will become dry and hurting so there i am lying staring and pushing for it to be over!!!Oh i hate it when it happens....
She' s one that' s very keen on breast enlargement and had one last year, i wonder why she had them if she' s not keen on sex?She always appear sexy and those little nice things but she cannot connect on any sexual level unless it is for herself, she doesnt even discuss any fantasy or sexual drives she might have with me.Lets hope for better days and more sex!!!

Reply to Lovely
Posted by: Starve | 2009/04/14

Well I' ve been there &  done that!My problem is that my wife is 36 and not intrested!She like' s the oral thing more and leaves me hanging dry?By the time she' s had the orgasm im flat?I have spoken to her many a times but she prefers the fingers or tongue!!

Reply to Starve
Posted by: Anon | 2009/04/14

Does not sound normal to me, I have just turned 50 and I like it at least 3 or 4 x a week, if not more....but we all different, will be interesting to see what Sexologist says.

Reply to Anon

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