Posted by: jon | 2010/01/18

sex advise

Hi.<br><br>I am 34 colured guy and been married for 10 years. For the last 5 years we have had problems with sex. i seem to want it more that my wife. she is happy with once a week and then it feels like only when she is in the mood. other times when i want she will push me away. the she say its very good when we do it. why then would she not want it more if she likes it so feels to me she only does it that 1 time to please me..she never starts firsta and we sledom kiss dring the day. please help. I am at a point of looking outside for please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Jon
The rivers of desire for sex will always run in different directions for couples . Sex for one may mean only holding or cuddling each other some times and no penetration at all and other times not even wanting to be sexual or having the ' full monty'.
Women can have loss of desire for sex due to many reasons . Causes can include oral contraception use,relationship difficulties , pain on intercourse , fear of pregnancy, tiredness and work stress ,abuse etc .
It requires the both of you to sit down and explore the likes , dislikes, wants , feelings that would regain the spark in the relationship .
|I suggest that you see a sexologist /counsellor to work over the desire discrepancies and look at relationship issues .
i also suggest that you and your wife go out on a 'first time' DATE and ensure that you both start as if you have never seen each other on a date before and rekindle the "spark ".

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Juju | 2010/01/19

ohh I also wanted to say, it takes two to tango so whatever that is happening no matter how hard you try on your side if the other person is not willing to make it work, it wont work. Women love sorting problems by talking, and just being open..I would love to know what have I done that I can fix it

Reply to Juju
Posted by: Juju | 2010/01/19

Hi Jon &  Anon,

I' m 29 yrs old have had the same partner for 13 years and 6 of those years we' ve been married.

Here' s my problem:

- My husband doesn' t care whether I' m satisfied in bed or not 2 - 3 minutes is all it takes for him and he' s done and happy.
- There' s no foreplay
- I hate kissing him cos he is a heavy smoker, but I also have to remind him to brush his teeth everyday, he' s mouth is very smelly and he never ever brushes his teeth.
- I do make advances at him all to be dissapointed by his 2 minute sessions.

Our marriage has been going downhill so I used the love cards, included in them where: Royality treatement, Blow job. Quicky anywhere anytime, wash his car, No argument day etc etc.

I thought this will bring us back to how we used to be, he only used two of these namely, hug &  kiss and wild card. I must have given him about 24 love cards. I felt very dissapointed, hurt, fat, ugly and very unloved when he never bothered to even use the BJ card. If we were going to fix it we could start somewhere. But the cards just did it for me and I have concluded that the love is all gone. I would expect him to use the no argument card, but he didn' t we fought on till the end...So sadly but trully speaking this has led me give up on evertything that we had.

Reply to Juju
Posted by: fly | 2010/01/18

Maybe u dont satisfy your partner sexually.OR maybe u have a bad breath that is why she pushes u away.I always do that when someone have a bad breath.

Reply to fly
Posted by: Anon!! | 2010/01/18

Sorry to hear ...
My wife is 36 and is in early memopause, and unfortunatley theres nothing much we can do about it. I bear with her, and never insist on sex / love making. I have learnt that everyone is not the same.
I think in general women / men reach a point were they lose interest in sex, BUT it doesnt mean that they stop loving their partners.
I also wish the was this miricale tab that could be taken to increase her libido, but unfortunatley theres nothing...

So good luck....but dont be too hard on her..

Reply to Anon!!

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