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Posted by: Seeking | 2004/10/18

Sex Addict

Good Day, What makes you a sex addict? I've been dating my g/friend for almost 2yrs and I can do it daily, but she really isn't interested in more than ones a week. Is there something wrong with me, as it annoys me so much that I'll break up with her about it, as I don't want to go about cheating on her again. We both cheated on each other, me in the first week and her a few months ago. So I'm really trying not to do it and get that done to me again. I am a women to - please don't get upset cause this is also a lesbian relationship - but I honestly need advise. Am I a sex addict? What is the symptoms? Or what can be wrong with me? Please help me.

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Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Can sex become compulsive? Like most behaviors, sex can be taken to its obsessive and compulsive extremes. Sexual obsessions and compulsions are recurrent, distressing and interfere with daily functioning. Many people suffer with these problems but finding consensus about them among sexual scientists or treatment professionals is not easy. This makes it more difficult for those suffering from compulsive sexual behavior (CSB) to get the appropriate help they need. For those who want to know more about this problem, it is helpful to know about the types of CSB, the various theoretical viewpoints and treatment approaches. While there are many types of compulsive sexual behavior, they can be divided into two main types: paraphilic and non-paraphilic CSB. Sexual scientists have used various terms to describe this phenomenon: hypersexuality, erotomania, nymphomania, satyriasis, and most recently sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. The terminology has often implied different values, attitudes, and theoretical orientations.

Paraphilic CSB
Paraphilic behaviors are unconventional sexual behaviors which are obsessive and compulsive. They interfere with love relationships and intimacy. While John Money(1) has defined nearly 50 paraphilias, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) of the American Psychiatric Association has currently classifed eight paraphilias and these are generally considered the most common:

pedophilia (sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children)
exhibitionism (sexual excitement associated with exposing one's genitals in public)
voyeurism (sexual excitement by watching an unsuspecting person)
sexual masochism (sexual excitement from being the recipient of the threat or administration of pain)
sexual sadism (sexual excitement from threatening or administration of pain)
transvestic fetishism (sexual excitement from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex)
frotteurism (sexual excitement from touching or fondling an unsuspecting person) (2)
In the recent DSM-IV, the paraphilias are defined as "recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving 1) nonhuman objects, 2) the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner, or 3) children or other nonconsenting persons ... The behavior, sexual urges, or fantasies cause clinically significant distress in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (p. 522-523)." Some behaviors, such as sado-masochism when they are consensual and do not impair life functioning are not considered a paraphilia because they do not meet all the diagnostic criteria.

Nonparaphilic CSB
Nonparaphilic CSB involves conventional sexual behaviors which when taken to an extreme are recurrent, distressing and interfere in daily functioning. One example is given in the DSM under the category of Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified. The authors of the DSM describe an example of "distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used" (p.538). Other forms of nonparaphilic CSB include: compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships, and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.(3)

The Danger of Overpathologizing this Disorder
The possibility of overpathologizing this disorder is the main criticism given by those who do not believe in the idea of compulsive sexual behavior as a disorder. The pathologizing of sexual behavior may be driven by anti-sexual attitudes and a failure to recognize the wide-range of normal human sexual expression. This caution is important when assessing whether a person is engaging in compulsive sexual behavior. It is important for professionals to be comfortable with a wide range of normal sexual behavior - both in types of behaviors and frequency. Sometimes individuals with their own restrictive values will diagnose themselves with this disorder, creating their own distress. Therefore it is very important to distinguish between individuals who have a values conflict with their sexual behavior and those who engage in obsessive sexual behaviors.

A Conflict Over Values
There is an inherent danger in diagnosing CSB simply because someone's behavior does not fit the values of the individual, group or society. There has been a long tradition of pathologizing behavior which is not mainstream and which some might find distasteful. For example, masturbation, oral sex, homosexual behavior, sado-masochistic behavior (S-M) or a love affair could be viewed as compulsive because someone might disapprove of these behaviors. However, there is no scientific merit to viewing these behaviors as disorders, compulsive or "deviant." When someone is distressed about these behaviors, they are most likely in conflict with their own or someone else's value system rather than this being a function of compulsion.

Problematic Vs. Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Behaviors which are in conflict with someone's value system may be problematic but not obsessive-compulsive. Having sexual problems is common. Problems are often caused by a number of non-pathological factors. People can make mistakes. They can at times act impulsively. Their behavior can cause problems in a relationship. Some people will use sex as a coping mechanism similar to the use of alcohol, drugs, or eating. This pattern of sexual behavior can be problematic. Problematic sexual behavior is often remedies by time, experience, education or brief counseling. Obsessive and compulsive behavior, by its nature, is much more resistant to change.

Developmental Process vs. Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Some sexual behaviors might be viewed as obsessive or compulsive if they are not viewed within their developmental context. Adolescents, for example, can become "obsessed" with sex for long periods of time. In adulthood, it is common for individuals to go through periods when sexual behavior may take on obsessive and compulsive characteristics. In early stages of romance, there is a natural development period where an individual might be obsessed with their partner and compelled to seek out their company and express affection.. These are normal and healthy developmental processes of sexual development and must be distinguished from CSB.

What Causes CSB?
Disagreement exists as to whether CSB is an addiction, a psychosexual development disorder, an impulse control disorder, a mood disorder, or an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Patrick Carnes (4) popularized the concept of CSB as and addiction. He believes that people become addicted to sex in the same way they become addicted to substances or behaviors. However, many dispute the idea that you can become addicted to sex in the same way that someone becomes addicted to alcohol or sex. Despite this criticism, sexual addiction has become a poplar metaphor similar to "workaholism." Twelve-step programs of spiritual recovery (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous) have become popular solutions to those who view CSB as an addiction. However, the "abstinence model" useful for alcoholics, cannot be applied to sexuality since sexual expression is a basic need of life. Critics view the abstinence solution as an oversimplification of CSB and potentially dangerous when proper medical and psychological treatment is not provided.

Different explanations have been given as causes of CSB. Robert Stoller (5) was a strong advocate of psychodynamic factors. His theories have been helpful to our understanding of inner conflicts which fuel obsessive and compulsive drives. Others have suggested factors of anxiety, mood and personality disorders. In some cases, CSB can result from a bipolar mood disorder. In other cases, CSB can be caused by a neurological disorder such as epilepsy or Alzheimer's. John Money has assisted us to understand the complex interplay of biological, psychological and environmental factors in CSB. CSB in some cases may be caused by irregular chemical functions in the brain which produce repetitious nature of the self-defeating behavior. In this model, CSB is driven by anxiety where certain sexual behaviors provide temporary relief of the anxiety but is followed by further anxiety and distress - creating a self-perpetuating cycle.(6)

Since CSB is such a complex disorder involving biological, psychological and social factors, a careful assessment by a well trained professional is necessary. Because of disagreements in theoretical approaches, the lay person should ask the professional about his/her own theories on CSB and consider other professional opinions.

Treatment of CSB
While disagreement exists about the nature of CSB, treatment professionals have generally found a combination of psychotherapy and prescription drugs to be effective in treating CSB. While medications which suppress the production of male hormones (anti-androgens) are used to treat a variety of paraphilic disorders, newer anti-depressants such as Prozac (R), Zoloft(R) or Paxil(R) which selectively act on serotonin levels in the brain are also effective in reducing sexual obsessions and compulsions and their associated levels of anxiety and depression. These newer medications interrupt the obsessive-compulsive cycle of CSB and help patients use therapy more effectively. The advantages of these anti-depressants over older anti-depressants or anti-androgens are their broad efficacy and relatively few known side effects.

How Does One Know if He/She Needs Help Regarding CSB?
The following questions are examples of those used in assessing and treating CSB.

Do you, or others who know you, find that you are overly preoccupied or obsessed with sexual activity?
Do you find yourself compelled to engage in sexual activity in response to stress, anxiety, or depression?
Have serious problems developed as a result of your sexual behavior (e.g., loss of a job or relationship, sexually transmitted diseases, injuries or illnesses, or sexual offenses)?
How Does Someone Find a Professional Who Has the Expertise in Assessment and Treatment of CSB?
There are several ways to find qualified professionals.

Call your state licensing boards for psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, or marriage and family therapists who have a specialized competence in treating compulsive sexual behavior.
Inquire through college or university psychology, psychiatric or counseling departments.
Ask professionals for their credentials in treating compulsive sexual behavior (e.g., certified sex therapist).
Summary
Compulsive sexual behavior is a serious psychosexual disorder which can be identified and treated successfully. CSB does not always involve strange and unusual sexual practices. Many conventional behaviors can become the focus of an individual's obsessions and compulsions. The exact mechanism of CSB is still under debate and various treatment approaches have been developed. Research is needed to further clarify the nature of the disorder, the mechanisms involved, and to test the most effective treatment approach. In the meantime, individuals suffering from CSB should not hesitate to seek professional guidance to properly assess their problem and to find help through counseling and treatment.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bubby | 2004/10/19

Hi there

I'll say one thing, I have always wanted a go with a women and she definately doesn't know what she is missing!

I envy her!

Reply to Bubby

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