Posted by: Michelle | 2004/02/13

Servant or Day care for 20month old son

My 20 month old son has been staying with our servant at home since he was 8 months old.
What would be best for my 20month old son: To stay full day with our servant or full day with our daycare centre? He enjoys playing with other children and one his friends is at the daycare centre.
I am thinking of putting him at our daycare for 1/2 day every day and then in the afternoons from 13h00 at home with our lady servant. The lady that works for us will talk with him and she adores him, but she is not a playful type of person. She will sit outside with him while he plays with our dogs or his toys. Which option would be best for my son?

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Our expert says:
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Michelle, I agree with Spooky --- maybe it's a bit young to make the transition just yet, and your 50/50 solution sounds like the best bet, at least initially, when he is a bit older.

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Our users say:
Posted by: C | 2004/02/13

Personal opinion: domestic servants don't raise our children the way we expect or want them to. I have witnessed quite a few kids who become bratty and naughty and very demanding because they have spent all day with a domestic who basically raises them the way they raise their own kids. Their own kids are raised on the bare minimum and not normally disciplined and guided like ours are. I know a lot of people don't have any other option, but I would rather not have a domestic looking after my child. I am lucky enough to have a mother-in-law that is prepared to do that. However, I also believe a little one needs stimulation and needs to be with other kids, so I think your 50/50 idea is great. That way, all the disciplining and attention-giving is NOT left up to the servant, and also the little boy does not spend ALL day at such a young age being in a creche/playgroup.

Reply to C
Posted by: Lorna | 2004/02/13

Been to hell and back myself with this one - my boy is 22mths old. I left him with my servant till he was about 1 yr old, then later on I found out she doesn't give him much attention at all - leaves him to scream when she doesn't feel like attending to him. Then I had a look at daymothers - just as depresssing. So I was lucky to find a daymother who looks only after 1 kid - and he floorishes!
I think half day option sounds very good - as he gets older, extend the time he stays at play. You'll see the difference in him! First few days might be difficult, but hang in there!
Good luck - theyr'e so precious!

Reply to Lorna
Posted by: Spooky | 2004/02/13

Interesting question.
The 1/2 day option sounds like a fair six for the one and half dozen for the other - while Nanny has an opportuninty to get some serious housework done, Junior gets some serious playtime stimulation.
Personally, I wonder whether 20 months could perhaps not be a little too soon, though.
My wife has raised quite a few babies at home as day-care mother and it is her opinion that 28 months should perhaps be considered the absolute minimum age at which they should be "let loose".
Ideally - 36 months or older.

Reply to Spooky

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