advertisement
Question
Posted by: CONCERNED GRAN | 2010/09/15

SEPARATION ANXIETY

Dear CD. Thanks for the reply. Child was very upset when we left and quietly cried and just stared into space. I think maybe it was me who was more upset at having to separate them. And she is not my daughter, ibut my son''s ex girlfriend. She loves her child very much, but we are not certain what all the child was exposed to whilst the mother was drugging. I''''ve been to the welfare to ask them to put the child in my care but have had no repsonse yet. They say the mother must make the decision and the fact that she has gone to rehab is in her favour. But who knows what will happen, the mother does not have proper support from her family so we give it to her. I''''m finding it very difficult to cope with this situation as so many lives are being turned upside down.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, thanks for the further information. I think the focu still needs to be on discussions with the child. One needs to discover what THEY think is going on, as they are quite often very worried about somethin that isn't at all what is happening. One has to take one's time as regards gently finding out from the child what she may have been exposed to earlier on.
The mere fact that the mom has gone to rehab may be slightly cheering, but much depends on HOW she uses that opportunity and whether she can not merely stop her addictions ( that's not so hard ) but whether she can stay stopped.
The welfare authorities and the courts are supposed to decide these things on the basis of what is best for the child, not simply on what one of the adults wants.
Talk calmly with the child, probably more than once, about how she feels about mom being in rehab, what she thinks happens in rehab, how she thinks mom is doing, what she thinks will happen and whatshe would prefer to happen, when mom comes out of rehab.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/15

OK, thanks for the further information. I think the focu still needs to be on discussions with the child. One needs to discover what THEY think is going on, as they are quite often very worried about somethin that isn't at all what is happening. One has to take one's time as regards gently finding out from the child what she may have been exposed to earlier on.
The mere fact that the mom has gone to rehab may be slightly cheering, but much depends on HOW she uses that opportunity and whether she can not merely stop her addictions ( that's not so hard ) but whether she can stay stopped.
The welfare authorities and the courts are supposed to decide these things on the basis of what is best for the child, not simply on what one of the adults wants.
Talk calmly with the child, probably more than once, about how she feels about mom being in rehab, what she thinks happens in rehab, how she thinks mom is doing, what she thinks will happen and whatshe would prefer to happen, when mom comes out of rehab.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement