Posted by: JOLA | 2004/11/18


I would like to take your advice about taking my daughter to a child psychologist. Because I was kept away from the world i have battled to fit in. I do not have much of a social life and find it very difficult to meet and chat to people and because of this I do not have friends. I definitely do not want my child to go the same way. She is quite an extrovert and I do not want her to change. I think that I should not live my fears through her, but rather let her experience life for herself.

Could you please advise on where i can find a CP in the East Rand area.

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Our expert says:
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Hello Jola,
You sound an unusually wise and thoughtful person. I wonder, though, whether your daughter needs to see a child psychologist ( your GP might know of a good one in your area ). She sounds like an extrovert and active child, without current problems. Maybe the best value for both of you, would be for you to see a counsellor for yourself, to sort out yout own issues and problems, so that you will be a happier and freer person, and will be better able to enable your child to remain happy among people.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kay | 2004/11/18

I agree wholeheartedly with K - it seems you are transfferring your fears to your child. Its a good thing for her to learn to socialise...its not as traumatic as you are making out. Its up to the parents to make the transition easy or hard - if you fret about it then that is what she picks up on and she will make it hell - if you are relaxed about it and even make it fun she shouldnt have any problems adjusting. Thousands of kids go to creche everyday - I dont think she needs counselling for it.

Reply to Kay
Posted by: J | 2004/11/18

I think you should take a step back and try to sort out your separation fears first.It seems you are the one that have to deal with issues from your past , in order to avoid these to filter down through to your daughter.
I think you should seek counselling to work on eliminating those fears, as well as updating your social skills.
In the meantime, it would not be a bad idea , as CS has suggested previously, to take some time out without your daughter in order for her to get used to not having mommy around all the time. Also an excellent idea for you to go out and take up hobbies, clubs, etc. where you will be able to meet people with the same interests as yourself.

Good luck!

Reply to J

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