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Question
Posted by: arjen | 2007/06/14

separation a method of reconciliation?

I want to get some opinions on whether separation could be an effective method of reconciliation? My wife and I (married 3 years) are having a very though time in communication. We seem to be unable to come to feasible decisions to reconcile and thus decided to separate. She moved out on Sunday but we are still going to see counselling. We have gone for one session and even though the session wasn’t as thought provoking as we hoped, it did give us a basis to start talking from and he had a great open conversation. We will carry on with counselling but as she moved out already I’m concerned that we have taken a step in the wrong direction and thus might have already lost our change for fixing our marital issues. Would you agree or have you seen that separation has worked out for the better in obtaining a better ground to communicate from?

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Our expert says:
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Separation as such is of course not a means of reconciliation. How could it be thus ? If you are having difficulties in communication, separation won't help that at all. Continue to see the marriage counsellor and work hard at that. It is in the counselling and talking together that you will solve all problems that are soluble.

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2007/06/15

hi there

i think both of you have to agree on the purpose of the separation
as long as both sees separation as a time out but in prder to get back together - then it should work

however some feel separation is rejection ans seek to meet their emotional needs by a third party and once a 3rd party is involved
reconciliation is not likely

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Maria | 2007/06/14

It sounds as if you really want to save your marriage. Why don't you, in addition to the counselling, pretend to be dating again as you're living apart? Meet each other for coffee or dinner, invite her over to watch a movie, that sort of thing.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/14

Absence makes the heart grow fonder :-)

Reply to Echelle

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