Our expert says:
Anine, So sorry to hear of this tragedy in your family, whatever the cause turns out to have been. Surely you do deserve counselling / berading. Why not ? It'll give you a time and safe space within which to sort out and deal with your feelings, at a time when the rest of the family are probably so tied up in their own grief as to be less able to support you, than usual. You will get through this and can become sronger for it, when the healing is completed. I wish that people who think of suicide would also remember this sort of awful impact it can have on others.
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