Our expert says:
Dear self pitied,
Sounds like divorce might be a wise consideration, and that you should disregard the self-serving pressures of his family. It is not generally better for children to stay within an unhappy mariage, learning, as you say, that it's OK for a father/husband to hurt a mother/wife.
From the sound of it, he is being emotionally and psychologically abusive --- try calling POWA or some similar group dealing with spousal abuse, as they can provide practical advice as well as support. I don't see why you couldn't go the legal aid / government funded lawyer route again ( at least some of the paper work should be ready from the previous occasion ); and if you're anywhere near a University with a Law Faculty, they may well offer a free legal clinic for advice --- the divorce would need to be handled properly to ensure that he pays enough maintenance to provide proper care for you and the children.
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