Our expert says:
Sounds like a highly uncomfortable situation to be in. Psychotherapy would be the best way to go, preferably with a modern, CBT-oriiented, practical, therapist, and avoid, like the plague, anyone with Psychoanalytic leanings, as that method is wastefully expensive and ineffective. A Cognitive-Behaviour Therapist would be able to help you to clarify who you are and who you want to be, and how to get there from here. You can construct a road-map together, and work out a better way of learning from the past so as to be less hurtful all round, in the future, rather than getting stuck in unhelpful guilt
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