Our expert says:
So, if I understand your story, he not only didn't tell you that he had a child from a previous relationship, but actually lied to you in saying the child had been found not to be his ? If there were not the proper paternity tests doe at the time, maybe, though, its not yet clear whether or not he fathered this child. Such testing would probably be useful, to help to establish the facts.
If his sister could find the child and communicate with him, surely the "father" could have done so ?
You're so right to re ognize that none o this is the boy's fault, and the child's best interests should be the number one priority for all of you.
The facts need to be clarified so you all know exactly what it is you are dealing with. But wouldn'\t it be wise for you and your husband to enter marriage counselling to sort out all the strong emotions here, which apparently he and you, for perhaps different reasons, are reluctant to discuss on your own ?
He put his family in a terribly difficult situation, just as he has now done for to you. They probably did the best they could in the situation they found themselves in.
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