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Question
Posted by: Cent | 2004/09/30

Secret lover

Dear Cybershrink

I have been a secret lover for almost 4 years because of long distance relationship, i wasn't aware at first, but after i discovered about the situation i decided to treated him badly, reason being that i was upset about his behaviour . Because i was a virgin by then, so i just didn't understand why he has to keep me as a secret because i know that i am such an an attractive girl and educated.

So i decided to end the unfair in a very ugly way and after that i apologised and he said he has nothing against me. But it seems that am the one who try by all means to try to communicate with him by phone and he doesn't phone. The reason why i decided to talk to him its because i hate not talking to people no matter how bad we treated each other, i just want to make peace knowing that he talks to me before i move on. Because i can sense that we were not mean to be.

Lastly, he was not on speaking terms with my friend the time we were still going out, but after this whole saga, he decided to phone my friend, So i would like to know why all of a sudden he speaking to my friend not me, Does it mean he has got nothing to do with me anymore ?Because i made myself clear that i don't want him anymore, all i want now is to make sure that we talk to each other, not regard each other as enemies.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Cent, I agree with our readers --- this guy just doesn't sound as if he deserves you, and you surely deserve much better than him ! Dont try to end the affair "in an ugly way" --- just end it, with dignity, stop contacting him, and lead your own free life, without him, until you can meet someone far better for you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cent | 2004/09/30

Thanks for the response, i also feel that its time to close the chapter and open a new one. Paul what i meant was, i just wanted to make sure that we talk, not necessarily be friends.
But if he doesn't want to be friend, i guess i cannot force him to.

Thanks a lot .

Reply to Cent
Posted by: Blessing | 2004/09/30

I suggest you close the chapter garl and move on. U cannot waiste time on something that was never meant to be yours. U ened the relationship so be it, even if it means changing contact numbers or changing jobs, so that u'll be able to accept he'll never feel the same way about you again.

Reply to Blessing
Posted by: Paul | 2004/09/30

That is not for you to decide, irrespective of the situation you blew him off, and if he doesn't want to be your friend so be it. Many men cannot be platonic friends after love, thats why its important to be friends first then lovers.

Reply to Paul

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