Posted by: LOLA | 2008/06/24

Second marriage

Hi<br>I have been going out with my wonderful fiance for about 4 years now. We having been living together for almost 2 years and got engaged last year. A wedding date has been set for 20th Sept.08. For both of us this will be our second marriage. I met him while he was going through his divorce and for a year we were just very good friends as at the time I was seeing someone else. We only got together a year after het got divorced. I on the other hand has been divorced for more then 10 years now. I love him very much and would not want to lose him. However, is it natural for me to feel so scared and apprehensive about the upcoming marriage. I am quite independent and am scared to loose that independance.<br>Please advise.<br><br>Thanks

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Posted by: Lin | 2008/06/24

Most people experience a sort of "cold feet" before they get married. This is most likely because almost everyone getting married thinks (hopes?) it will be forever. And making such a huge desicion causes stress. Have you been for pre-marital counselling? I suggest that you attend a course. You learn alot of your partner's perception of a marriage and sort out problems that might become big problems during the marriage if not attended to.
Congratulations on the engagement and enjoy your big day!

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Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/24

I once read somewhere that a second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Your fears sound quite reasonable. Why don't you go and see a counseller for a few sessions, with your fiance or by yourself, to talk through your concerns and decide if they are valid.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Sg | 2008/06/24

Whether it is your or 4 th marriage,you will always be a bit concerned/apprehensive.It will be a bit tough as you have been independant for awhile BUT if you really love him you will get through it.Just always be conscious that you will have to consider someone else now AND,YES you will have to share the remote in future ! LOL

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