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Question
Posted by: Franky | 2007/04/24

School Bully

Can someone please help me out. I have a daughter of 12 years old, this is her last year at primary level. She is not too bubbly and a bit on the Quiet side of life. We moved to a new area in the middle of Feb, so she had to go to a new school and all those things. Well the first term went well, in fact very well, even her results was good.....but now.... Well she told me about a boy that's making her life miserable. He is in her class. He has funny comments everytime he see her. And now in the mornings she is VERY SICK to prevent school. I asked her must i go sort it out, speak to the teachers.. And NO was her reply, she doesn't want me or no one else to do anything about it. I even said must i go and "fix" him after the school. And NO NO NO. Well it is kinda scaring me and i don't really know how to handle it. She even told me this boy has friends in high school. I told her just to ignore him, coz maybe he'll back off and well she said she will do just that. Bullying has a bad affect on children and i really just want my child to succeed and hope this doesn't get hand out. She is of those children that will just say everything is fine while it's not fine. Any advice on how to handle this.

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Our expert says:
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I tend to agree with John. Bullying must never be tolerated, and there are many reasons why a child on his or her own hesitates to report the culprits. Do, after getting sufficient details from your daughter to be able to identify the culprit, approach the Headmaster and demand that the bully be severealy reprimanded and threatened with expulsion if any further episodes occur. And in due time, warn the High School Headmaster that this boy has a history of bullying, and tell him to keep an eye on him and make sure he isn't able to repeat this offense.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2007/04/24

This is one of the times that kids have to grow up and stand up for what they believe in and they can either chose to do it themselves or get their parents involved. I experienced school bullying but one day I told the bully that if she wanted to see my father descened on the school like a bat out of hell she should just carry on with what she was doing. Now that bully didn't know my father but it scared her and the bullying stopped. I don't know why I stood it for so long, maybe I thought it would just die out, but it doesn't. Your daughter has to take action and its really her choice how she deals with it. If she prefers you to get involved with the matter by going to the principal with her it should send a very clear signal to the bully and others that someone in authority knows what is going on. If you don't get anywhere with the principal then register a written complaint with the board of education. If she can't decide what she wants to do then maybe change her school but until she takes action that bullying will just get worse. Good luck.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: John | 2007/04/24

Hiring muscle, as amusing as it may be in a B-grade Hollywood teen movie, does not solve the problem of being a victim.

Bullying has very, very serious consequences for victims and they sometimes live their whole lives in the shadow and shame of stupid school bullies. Its cold comfort to know that they are supposed to be cowards or even that the victim will probably out-achieve their oppressors in later life. These facts are irrelevant to a victim who lives in real and genuine terror on a HOURLY basis.

Retribution must be swift and lasting. Franky, I recommend that you approach the school head and ensure that he/she deals with the problem appropriately by involving the swine's parents and having severe sanctions laid down (like maybe suspension with the threat of expulsion). Do not ask the poor victim how to solve the problem: she is helpless enough and though she may be suffering badly, she is scared of making waves for fear of retirbution.

Threaten the school head with charges of assault to the sod and dragging the school's name through the proverbial mud. Your daughter is at a very vulnerablestage in her life and you don't want oafs and louts to stunt her development in any way.

Do some research (via Google) on how this very serious problem is being handled in the USA and the UK and share this with the school head.

Kick the bully's arse as hard as you can. In fact, it may be a valuable lesson for this sod-in-training to learn that he should not prey upon helpless females and that there are consequences for being a bastard.

Reply to John
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/04/24

Organize some high school boys to play along and let it look like SHE has lots of friends in high school and make sure he sees her with the highschool guys...

Reply to Echelle

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