Posted by: PMS | 2013/02/04


My son is in grade 9 in an all boys school. Last year he did great, but he hates his school now. He doesnt like the boys that go there and says they are not like him (personality wise). I think he misses been around girls. He is so unhappy, but its a good school. He said its what my hubby and I want and not what he wants. What do we do? Put him in a co-ed school or leave his where he is. They are also very disciplined and if we move him to the school in our area, we are scared he ends up with the wrong crowd, etc.

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Our expert says:
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It'll be interesting to see what other good and experienced parents in the forum readers, have to say here. It sounds as though you changed the lad from a co-ed school to an all-male school without even discussing this with him ? Was that wise ? There needs to be a lot more calm discussion before more t00-rapid decisions are made ; maybe suggest that he start discussions with you, and meanwhile to his best for the first term, while a more careful decision is made. Maybe its the greater degree of discipline or other factors tjhat are truly bothering him, rather than the co-ed issue which he may feel more suitable to complain about.

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Posted by: Purple | 2013/02/05

How long has he been there? Maybe its taking him a while to adjust? Its hard going to a new work place or a new school.

It can be difficult to move to a place with many more rules, particularly if some of them are quite petty. Perhaps the silliness is getting to him?

Ther eis the risk of falling in with the wrong crowd wherever one goes to school, its more about personality, values and assertiveness than who you''re at school with. All schools (and all workplaces) seem to have a group of popular people who have no brains, a group of popular people who are popular because they''re nice, a group of sporty people, a group of ners, several loners, some truly bad people who are mean and nasty and form themselves into bullying little gangs, some loner bullies and then everyone else inbetween who is just trying to find their place in the world.

Perhaps encourage him to get involved in some sports or after school clubs at the school and outside of school so that he can make a wide circle of friends.

Was he involved in the decision to change schools? when decisions are forced on people without their input, it can make them very resistant. Teenagers in particular will rebel against being overly controlled.

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