Our expert says:
Don't be scared to love, but be scared to rush impulsively into a situation before it becomes clear enough to make a properly informed and wiser decision.
Like G, I wonder why you feel such a breathless rush about this relationship ? WHy not take the time to get to know each other for more than a couple of weeks ? Even some of the most horrible people I have encountered often managed to seem pleasant for a week or two. This guy may be all you hope for or even more --- but if he is, this won't diminish if you take a bit longer to get to know each other.
Your recent history as you describe it, sounds as if you have previously also been impulsive, and rushed into arrangements that didn't work out. YOur daughter has already been understandably upset and disturbed by a bewildering series of suddent moves here and there, and the loss of stability and even familiar possessions. Settle down for a while !
YOu can forget about the other guy gradually, as we all do --- plunging precipitately into another relationship just to help you forget the previous mistake is a terrific way to lurch into yet another mistake. And then you'll have two sets of hurt to try to forget. Look at your own recent experience --- the last guy may have seemed fine, but you didn't find out until too late that he was alcoholic and unsuitable to you as a partner. You rushed into a major geographic move without being able to afford to move back , before knowing exactly what you ( and more importantly, your daughter ) were letting yourselves in for. Don't repeat bad parts of your history by repeating them.
The new guy, you say, smokes dope "for medical reasons". That's possible -- that does help some paraplegic folks with some pain problems, and can indeed be recommended by some doctors --- but you don't yet know that. You mention wanting to make love --- that may be possible, impossible, or just difficult, depending on the exact nature of his injuries and handicap --- again, you're planning something before you know enough to know what you are embarking upon.
Take it easy. Take the time to settle back, giving your child some much needed stability, and get to know this guy. If he's anything near as good as you feel he may be, it'll be worth waiting for. If there are more serious potential problems, take the time to check out all such possibilities, before plunging ahead again. Don't try to recover from one impulsive, bad decision, by making another,.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.