Our expert says:
Never forget that a dream is just a dream. As it occurs when we are rather vulnerable it may be very scary, and may remind us of uncomfortable things we'd rather not think about. Fear of dying or dread disease is something that frightens everyone, though we usually manage not to focus on it. We can sensibly take all available precautions so as to make it less likely, but simply worying about it, as you've found, doesn't help at all.
I'm curious about the precise way you seem to be experiencing this fear, though, when you say : " the thought of abandoning my child and it is me who is doing it to her is not fair". You are not likely to leave your child alone in the near future, and even what you fear would hardly be any deliberate abandoning of her - you seem to fel that any severe illness you might experience would be entirely your fault. I don't understand that. You didn't choose to get a high cholesterol ( which may increase your risks of some medical problems, but makes none of them certain )and you are starting to do something useful about it - to change your diet and lifestyle, and to give up smoking - great decision, een if hard to carry out, it'll be well worth it.
That fream doesn't predict any particula danger - it reflects the guilty feelings of being at high risk which you already had - it dramatized what was already concerning you. The dream isn't telling you that the doc will have any bad news - it is telling you that this is what you fel scaed about.
Keep as calm as you can, and discuss any risk factors with your doc, and what you can best do to reduce any of them, and what help he can give or refer you to, to make it easier to suced.
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