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Question
Posted by: Umoja | 2004/01/14

scared.........

Hi there,
I need some help, i am starting to feel very weird and have checked the symtoms one develops if you're hiv+ and found that some do match. Last year I had unprotected sex with some chic more than once. We started off using condoms & after about six months, I thought i trust her enough not to use condoms. She told me that she had done the test and she was fine and encouraged me to go as well, that is exactly what made me feel at ease. The symtoms I have are: blocked nose,sneazing,day & night sweat,sour taste in my mouth,mild sore throat and feeling hungry even if I had something to eat. Sometimes I feel like there is this thing invading my body, my body feels very heavy & attacked. All of this started last week already. I went to my GP and he checked me and said that i have an infection in my upper respiratory tract. The thought of doing the test is unbearable, i don't think I will do it considering the way I am scared.

what should I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageHIV Peer Forum

You should go for pretest counseling and have the test

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Inc | 2004/01/15

Take the test! I dont wish HIV on anyone... I just wish people would value life and not play games with human beings! The stigma of being HIV+ is so much more devasting than actually being HIV+! Those who are not infected will never know what it is... there are no words to describe the torment! Don't do that to innocent people... take the test and take it from there. Good luck.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Umoja | 2004/01/15

Danmed inc! don't talk like that, you making my situation even worse. To put your mind at ease,whenever i see my wife again(probably in six month's time) i will make sure I use a condom and i will tell her that the fact that we living apart puts us both at risk and we should use condoms until we get tested and\or when we stay together permanently. I know it maybe too late but its a better option for now. I am still considering taking the test but for now its a difficult decission to take.

Reply to Umoja
Posted by: Inc | 2004/01/15

Umoja... your explanation is much to do about nothing and does not justify the possible spread of HIV/AIDS to your wife!! How can you even make excuses? I really hope that you never have to know what it is like to be HIV+! You take your health for granted... and you have no respect for life! Not for your life, not for your wife, not for your mistress and least of all for your child, who might be orphaned some day because you are a so-called 'Man'!

Reply to Inc
Posted by: yebo | 2004/01/15

I am in a same boat with umoja, i accept that it was very foolish of me to engage in unprotected sex. my encounter was in October 2002 and during last year i was fearing that I started developing some hiv related symptoms. Immediately i requested my mistress to go do some hiv tests (about 4 eliza tests) and they all came back negative. Sometimes I think she might be + but does not necessarily show when being tested.

What are the possibilties of somebody testing negative whilst positive. (false negative results). Are there any exceptions with regards to the ELIZA tests?

Reply to yebo
Posted by: maggie | 2004/01/15

UMoja, i really sympathise with u bro. but u should have thought about the pro's and cons of having unprotected sex with a mistress before u did the act.and blaming ur wife for being unavailable doesnt help to. have u ever thought of moving to where she is so as to be with her at all times? anyway, not that all my questions will solve ur problem. listen, go check urself out immediately coz he sooner u know the better and the better u can take care of things (in ur marriage) and ur self. ur wife (as hard as it might be) has a right to know. u have punished her already by being unfaithful. and if u test -: good. but then bear in mind that u cant tell when a person is h+ or not by looking at them. this disease takes time. please be more vigilant and when u get horny - think of a ways where u can be with ur wife. move up or ask her to move down: but pls dont cheat on her. and dont fool around. AIDS is real and it kills. Good luck Moja. i'll pray for .. aids is really the winter of my discontent..i've had family memebers die on me becoz of this dreadful disease.

Reply to maggie
Posted by: Umoja | 2004/01/15

Look here Inc, i am not entirely to blame for cheating on my wife, i'm in long distance relationship with my wife and she has refused to leave her job to come and stay with me even though i earn a decend salary. I am a very sexual active person which is why i got married in the first place 'cause i wanted to have a stable relationship. of course this does not justify my actions but what can a man do......?

Anyway the point is i wanna get tested for the sake of my family but i am so damn scared , where should i start?

Reply to Umoja
Posted by: malaika | 2004/01/15

Umoja,
You are still acting irresponsibly by refusing to get tested.The sooner you know that you are positive the longer you can live.You and your wife should both go for counselling and get tested.BE RESPONSIBLE!! YOU KNOW ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO...Get it of your chest.

Reply to malaika
Posted by: Inc | 2004/01/15

Sorry for not being sympathetic... I was infected by my husband in exactly this way... people like you make me sick! It would help if your brain wasn't situated in your dick! You know you acted irresponsible? Did it take you a while to figure that out Einstein? You better get tested and you better tell your wife to get tested too!

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Umoja | 2004/01/14

Thanks for the quick responce, my situation is a bit complex. my real problem is that if i am hiv+ it doesn't only affect me but it affects other people as well, like my wife(pls don't hammer me for this one), i know i acted irresponsible when i had unprotected sex with someone while i'm married and i know that i should take the test but I just can't, what if i am hiv+?what about my wife & daughter?i am sorry but i just can't, its an unbearable feeling........

Reply to Umoja
Posted by: malaika | 2004/01/14

Umoja,
The symptoms you are describing could be anything not just hiv.Besides,One only becomes symptomatic after about 5 years.I know you must be feeling guilty about having unprotected sex with someone especially with the high rates of infections today.You sound like a responsible guy so i won't even lecture you about the danger you put yourself in.All i can say to you is that you need to know for sure what is wrong.It could even be a psychological thing resulting from your guilt.Please take an hiv test and know for sure.I do't believe that you can be having symptoms so soon(1 year).Good Luck with your test!

Reply to malaika

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