Posted by: boo-hoo | 2009/03/04

sadness taking over....

I’ m so hurt. I wish I could just die or run away, but I’ m too responsible for that. I could never do it.

I wish people would stop being mean to/ about me. I never did anything. It was hard putting up with his family and I did, but after 4 years it just got too much. I was never going to be good enough for them anyway. As for my friends-, I don’ t know why they turned on me. I defended them whenever someone said something mean about them. I always invited them out, but they always declined. They can’ t say it was me- I’ d buy them snacks and stuff and I would share mine. We shared secrets as well. Then they all turned on me.

I’ ve never heard such ridiculous rumours about me. I haven’ t seen them for a whole year but they won’ t stop. Is it fun to humiliate people?

Today, to make tings worse, he put up this mean thing about me on Facebook. So now all the people that he’ s friends with and I’ m not are going to see it, and I can only image how these people are going to react when they see it. I don’ t want to be at work today, but I have to be. I don’ t want to be seen in public again. It was bad enough before. I feel bad enough about myself. Why does the world hate me???

I suppose it doesn’ t matter- I don’ t have any friends to go out with anyway. Then I threw away the very last of my pride and put a “ looking for friends”  ad up. For some people it’ s ok, but I don’ t like the fact that I need to advertise that I need friends. To make it worse, no one replied. I listed all my good qualities and I never came across as arrogant and all that.

Is it true that you have to love yourself before you love others?

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Our expert says:
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I'm really pleased to hear that you reject thoughts of harming yourself. Some folks are just mean, and their meanness may not be about you, or caused by you, but you simply happen to be handy when they feel like being mean. You seem to feel you have to somehow buy friendship, and its really not for sale --- people who make you feel as though you have to earn their friendship are simply not friends at all, at any price. You don't need that sort of "friend" at all, and can look for new and more genuine friends. Often pursuing a hobby or charity work, and such like activities enables you to meet people who are pleasant and share some of your interests.
Now, two other points. One is your point that you need to love yourself before others are likely to like you. In so many ways, someone who dislikes themselves signals this to other people, and this puts them off. Seein a personal counsellor would be a really good idea, to focus on your very low self-estem, and you can work also on improving techniques for making friends, and recognizing fake friends.
Then : " Why does the world hate me??? " I never forget many years ago when I voiced similar sentiments, a friend of mine ( a REAL friend ) said, cheerily : " Now you know that's not true --- there are several sections of Uzhbekistan where they have absolutely no feelings about you at all !" And maniy of the Pacific Islands are entirely neutral about you. I understand such statements are not meant to be literally true, but to express how you feel --- but there's a risk that if you continue such a negative dialogue with yourself, you will behave as though it was true.

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