Posted by: Tiekie | 2005/12/14

Sadam & die Boer

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when
his telephone rang.

"Howzit Saddam!", a broken English voice said. "This is Koos here from the
Doringboom Bar in Welkom, South Africa. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you boet!
Jy gaan kak!!!"

"Well, Koos," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," said Koos, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my
cousin Jan, my next door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the entire pool team
from the pub. That makes eight plus a rotweiler named Sokkies!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Liewe bliksem!", said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. "Saddam, my china, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Koos?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have 4 Hilux double cabs, two combies, a bulldozer, and vet Gert's
John Deer."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1½ million since
we last spoke."

"Nee o donner!" said Koos. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day. "Saddam, ou swaer, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified
Doepie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the -|- pit, and four okes
from the Virginia hengel klub have joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Koos, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Goeie aarde!", said Koos, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. "Jis, jis, jis Saddam! I am
sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Koos, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of Klippies en
Coke, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

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