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Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/12

Sad Sad Sad PART 2

So i havnt broke up with him officially. here is the email i sended him:

ahhh you guys i do not want to go back to square one! all lonely...cutting myself i OD-ing on deppresant pills and sh!t like that.

I send him this email:

I REALLY didnt like what happend last nite...i would love to be there
for you in your hard times....but sometimes i also just want to be loved.

I dont want to get hurt- so dont keep me wondering...coz i got enought
shit

happing in my life already.

is it me you want in your life or not.

HE THEN REPLIED:

We should rather talk about these things face to face and not while
either of us are at work.



As far as last night goes I just think you were being rude each time by
wanting to go inside all the time like you did the previous night
without even say a word to anyone and just assuming that it would be ok
to sleep over. Not even I take it for granted that I can always sleep
over... and you've done this before as well.

Did you just think that I would leave >HIS FRIEND WE'RE WE SLEPT OVERS NAME< alone while we were in the shower or room?



I know you want to be loved and who doesn't... I told you how I feel about you and took the wrong way and once again, just sulked and would not talk.



As far as the shit happening in your life... well we all have shit and you are not the only one. But you have not even begun to tell me anything and it has already been 3 months so how am I even meant to understand a thing on why you do what you do! I don't really now anything about you as you don't share and yes I know its hard, but its real hard for me too sharing things as I am not usually very open with my life either.

. . . just because I am not in love with you as I said last night does
not mean that I don't want you around. Things are not that simple... life is not that simple and you need to really grow up and not take things so personally.

Maybe you should be asking yourself if you want someone in your life and if so in what capacity. I have been single most my gay life and will be fine with or without you because I am a strong person. But that does not mean that I don't want to be with you . . .

We can talk tomorrow again and I mean tomorrow so don't call me and think we will chat about things.

xXx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Spiderman and thanks for this post. It sounds as if you're experiencing very intense feelings and I'm very concerned that you're abusing medication and cutting. Again, I urge you to make contact and come in to the clinic - I will try to phone you as well. If you have an urge to cut yourself rather hold ice-cubes tightly in your hands for as long as you can - your hands will hurt from the cold and the urge to cut will pass.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/13

thanks very much guys....its great to know that if life is getting me down if got you guys to turn to.

xxx

Reply to Spiderman
Posted by: Dyl | 2007/03/13

Hey,

The feeling of being in love does more often than not go away. What replaces that feeling is what is important.

If the feeling changes to that of nothing, then there wasn’t love to start with, just lust.

If the feeling changes to that of deep respect, consideration and empathy for the other person, then your feeling have evolved into true love.

Your BF is clearly asking for space, if I were you, I’d give it willingly. You cannot force yourself on anyone. If you don’t give him the space, he will take it, and you will be lost to him forever.

You too need space. If you cannot open up to him and tell him about yourself, your past, your dreams, fears, your loves, your hates, then he is not the one for you, and you know it.

I agree, you need to be able to stand on your own 2 feet, be able to live with yourself before you can share your life with someone else. Be happy in your own skin first before you attempt to be with someone.

Life is not easy for anyone. We all have to make the best with the cards we were dealt, we all have our problems, it’s the way in which we deal with them is how we are going to be remember and respected.

I hope you find peace in yourself.
Lovies,
Dyl

Reply to Dyl
Posted by: Rade | 2007/03/12

Dear Spiderman
I think your boyfriend's letter is very clear about the relationship you have at the moment.
It seems that if you want to keep him, you will need to sacrifice. Relationships are all about give and take. Here you need to give a little of yourself. Your boyfriend wants to know who you are. If you are not ready to disclose a little more information 3 months into the relationship, talk to him about why you don't want to.

You are at this point where you take the relationship for granted. Whenever you don't get what you want, you make a scene. Normally this result in you getting what you want, because boyfriend usually go out of his way to please you. If this does not happen, you are unhappy, sad, depressed and posts this on an open forum so that people can pay attention to your problem.

At this moment, you are like a straight jacket, suffocating the relationship. His reply is evidential of needed space. I would like to see the two of you spend a few days without contacting each other, reconsidering.
I also think you want to be accepted and around people that pay attention to you, and not really so much in love. This will become clear once you get objective distance.

I would like to get in touch with you because we share a lot in common. I can relate to many things that you are going through now. I wish you the best of luck

R

Reply to Rade
Posted by: DLB | 2007/03/12

I used to cut myself too... NEVER be in a relationship because you don't want to be lonely - not a good idea. You will unknowingly put pressure on your partner which will ultimately lead to disaster. You need to be able to be alone before you can be with someone. Speak to this guy but think about what you are in the relationship for. Never do something just to feel better, it will not last long term.

Reply to DLB

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