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Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/12

Sad Sad Sad

Oh my Goodness....

Please bear with me....i'm very depressed now and i know its not the depression and anxiety forum.

Last nite i broke up with my first boyfriend.....Why i hear you ask....well lets get one thing striaght i havent been all holly in this 2 month and 2 week relationship....been to the Hothouse 3 times and kissed 2 guys while in relastionship.

Well i just felt he doesnt treat me like a boyfriend...like the way he speaks to me...like on Friday nite we spend the nite at his friends place...i got tired and head off to bed- without saying goodnite- personally i don't say goodnite....i'm a kinda guy that don't give a >#%$... someone that doesnt want to follow the normal trend...i guess i could say...like for example i will not ask How are you doing today....and you will not catch me saying Happy Birthday....because i find people say it out of routine and half of the time they dont mean it....so if i really want to greet someone i will hung them....ANYWAY i'm getting of the story here so he got into the room switched the light on and said that its rude just to go to sleep without saying anything....he then left without switching the light off i then said hey will you switch the light off, he then said do it your self and walked out. And there is alot of small thing that bothered me like i sometimes want to hang him or kiss him...he will then say i'm not in the mood or not now....So last nite i asked him if he loves me...he then said He loves me..BUT he's not in love with me. I then asked him what does that mean.....he said he doesnt know but there is a differance. So i cried lastnite sniffing while the tears was rolling off my cheek....he then asked me if i am alright...i then replied by saying i dont want to talk anymore.

Now what de hell is going to happen to me now (tears in my eyes) i'm back to square one....no friends ....no boyfriend...
no #$%& nothing....I sense a very hardcore therapy session with my therapist on Wednessday! AAah i'm loosing it 22 years old lost my Job....broke as hell...without any friends....no boyfriend....no
%^&$ nothing.

Sorry if i went a bietjie bos in this post....i just had to let go.... maybe some of the wise cyber peeps like Nikki or Tammy can type something in respond.

xxx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Spiderman, good to hear from you again and I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing such a rough time. If you feel you need to speak to someone before you see R on Wednesday feel free to come in to Triangle Project tomorrow (Tuesday) - it sounds as if you need some professional support.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/12

Geee you guys r so freaken awsome!! thank you soooo much for the replies!

DLB - thanks for relating to my problem...now i dont feel that
sh!t anymore coz i knw i'm not the only one.

Miss G - thanks for feeling for me...its great to know that
someone who doe'nt even know me feel for me.

and....Gareth...buddy! thanks for following all my posts and
for giving me that very wise advise.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!

Reply to Spiderman
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/03/12

Spidy my man,

I think you need to start LOVING yourself FIRST, how about that. As DLB says, get to enjoy you and your own company first and foremost.

Glad to hear you having a hardcore session with your therapist, be honest and work this through, it will be to your benefit in the long run.

Not saying goodnite is perhaps not the only thing you get wrong, do a little soul search my friend, you can do better then that. ;)

Even though I am alone too with no partner, I say goodnite every nite, even if it is just to myself, try it, it works xxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxx
Nikki

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: Gareth | 2007/03/12

Spidy, I know this doesn't help, and nothing will take the hurt away, but don't dispair. It is all part of the journey to finding the one. And you are still young. There will be lots more where this came from, especially in the gay community where there are so many "fly-by-the-seat-off-your-pants" relationships. You should grow from these hurtful times, take what is positive to your life from it, and discard the rest. It is in our darkest and most difficult times where we grow the most. And also, hearing what you say, and following what has happened over the past two months, I would say you are not ready for a relationship yet. And if you cheated on your bf and kissed 2 different boys in a two month period, you are definately not alone or lonely. You should still have fun being single, experience things, find out what you like and don't like, get to know yourself. That way, one day, you will be ready to give yourself in a relationship, because you know what you want and what you are giving. If you are in a relationship, and have the need to go to Hothouse, or kiss other boys, I'd say you are not ready. Rather be single for a while, and you can kiss as many boys as you like, do what you like, etc, without hurting anybody else or yourself for that matter. And it is not the end of the world being single. In fact, I had the best times of my life being single. Enjoy the now. And from the sound of it, you are an outgoing person, that socialise a lot and are not afraid to say your say. So in no time you will meet new people, make new friends etc etc. I'd say just lay off the "looking for a boyfriend" for a while.
Good luck mate, things will get better, even though it seems hopeless now, it always does eventually. So just hang in there.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: Miss G | 2007/03/12



Hi Spiderman,

Ag shame man sweetie, I really feel for you. I don't know much about you... But just hang in there.

Reply to Miss G
Posted by: DLB | 2007/03/12

I don't have friends or a boyfriend and I'm fine. I think that your problem is that you need to learn to enjoy your own company. You don't HAVE to be with people all the time. The thing about saying good night. It wouldn't hurt you to compromise a bit and just say good night. I also feel that it is a bit rude... But thats just me. Hang in there for now. I know how bad it is to feel lonely but think of this as a new beginning. A chance to meet the perfect man maybe?

Reply to DLB

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