Our expert says:
You are absolutely right that he will never change. WHat, really, is it that you feel you miss about him ? Surely not all the horrible aspects of who he is and what he does ? Is it, perhaps, that what you miss is the guy you THOUGHT he was, hoped he was, hoped he might become ? And the "missing" is more of a difficulty in giving up those impossible dreams, and admitting that was not him ?
Congratulations on having the sense, courage and strength to leave the abuser. Commend yourself for that. Do you really miss going home and wondering what nasty thing he will do next ? DO you really miss the swearing and threats ? He loves the alcohol and the chance to dominate someone else more than he loves or will love anyone. You are so well rid of him. See a counsellor, maybe through a group like POWA, if you are really finding this difficult to do.
Once you can let go of this bad person, you will become free to find a real man who actually will treat you with the respect you deserve
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