Our expert says:
This degree of suicidal thinking has to be taken seriously, and very strongly suggests that your depression is not yet being effectively treated. Discuss this with your psychiatrist, frankly - and if you are only being treated by a GP so far, then insist on seeing a psychiatrist as soon as possible, for a fresh assessment and exploration of treatment options. These should, if possible, include not merely medication, but also counselling of the CBT form to help you learn more effective ways of coping with all this negative thinking and the bunch of convincing but false negative assumptions that are bogging you down.
Undoubtedly there is hope. Sadly, as one becomes depressed, research shows that one's mode of thinking changes, so that one notices mainly negative aspects of life, and puts a negative interpretation on everything, so it becomes harder to see the hope there is. With proper treatment you should be feeling significantly better and enjoying life more, before long.
Once your depression has begun really improving, it may be worth exploring the possibility of marriage counselling to deal better with your husband's unhelpful responses and habits,
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