Our expert says:
From what you say it's obvious that you are a highly intelligent ( but not yet wise ) and talented person capable of achiving really useful tings, but currently adrift without a good map or guidance system, setting yourself standards that are way too high, and apparently discounting anything you DO achieve as not worth anything. You need and deserve to see a good shrink to work on clarifying your goals in life, and planning how you will achieve them. "Get out now (while) I haven't lost too much" ? Suicide is the one guaranteed way to lose far too much, to lose it all, and for nothing whatsoever. Don't go that route.
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