Our expert says:
Maybe indeed he needs help with anger management --- but of course he's not likely to get any until he recognizes that this is indeed a problem for him ( as well as you ) and that he needs help. That's the challenge.
Sometimes a person, perhaps like him, who has grown up without experiencing kindness and politeness, simply doesn't know how to do it, and is clumsy in such matters. I wonder about this, when you say that he is very soft and gentle in the way he talks to his son --- maybe he identifies with the boy, remembering how it was when he was a boy, and tus he may be especially careful and kind to the boy, without recognizing that he ought to treat others in a similar fashion.
Is there any chance of persuading him to join you in marriage counselling ? ( eg through FAMSA ) ? Don't put it to him as though there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed ( he's unlikely to accept that ) but maybe suggest that while there are many things about the marriage which you really appreciate and enjoy, there are aspects which make you unhappy, and you think maybe also make him less happy than he deserves to be, and you'd like to see if you can fix these things together
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