Our expert says:
Perhaps you need to try and discuss this again with your partner. Men can generally become ‘goal orientated’ when it comes to sexual intimacy. It is important that he understands that just as he gets an erection when aroused, enabling penetration to take place, in the women arousal results in lubrication (‘wetness’) and swelling of the genitals. This ensures that sex is pleasurable and painless. Initially in a relationship, this state of arousal for women is reached much quicker, but after a while more time needs to be spent on ‘foreplay’ as you mentioned. Sometimes it is difficult to discuss these things and it is hard to communicate your feelings, but worth it. Perhaps it may help to guide him during sex to areas which feel good for you and which help with arousal. Hopefully having explained more fully, he will become more responsive to your needs.
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