Our expert says:
you are right to want to resolve these problems before you get into a marriage, as long term these issues will affect you, and any children you may have.
I suggest that he has his own individual therapy as medication alone will not resolve this problem. I also strongly suggest that you go for couple counselling as you need to address these issues now - getting married and hoping for the best will not make these problems go away. It sounds like your boyfriend is traumatised by his past, and trauma needs to be treated, it does not get better on its own.
Your boyfriend needs help with this, and yes it can be treated. If you are in the Cape Town area I can recommend some Clinical Psychologists that you could contact. If you are elsewhere in SA please contact your family doctor who can provide you with contact details of Clinical Psychologists in your area.
Please post a further question if you need any more assistance.
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