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Posted by: Sweety no more!! | 2007/02/19

Revenge - need anyone's help plz

Hi. Just thought you could help me with this incident that occured at work today. Today a woman working in our office decided to announce to me, in front of all my collegues, that I have really become fat and that she can see it. I was so taken aback by this rediculous statement, and the fact that she could blab it out to the whole office. I felt terribly embarrased! I can think of a million things I wanted to say back to her to put her in her place, but at that moment I was dumb struck, all I could say was, siss, ok, yes, I have picked up a little...Damn, now I can really kick myself that I didn't have a good come back to her line. That moment was almost non-existant, as everybody pretended like it didn't happen. I totally let her get to me, all I could think of today was starving myself, and not falling prey to the countless offers to order Nando's or Debonairs. I am not fat. I weigh 52kgs and am 1.62 m tall. Ok I might have gained a little weight but not that it's so noticable that everybody's talking about it. What makes me angry is that the woman who said this is quite big herself and I've always felt that she's jealous of me. I'm not immature, but I've just about had it with her. She's always on my case about something, and I need to take revenge... I know it might not be the right way of dealing with this situation, but I know I'll feel a whole lot better about it! She needs to be put in her place. She thinks she runs the company but she's probably the poorest paying employee around. I just dispise her and perhaps somebody could give me an idea of what to do to get her back for the way she embarrased me today. Any suggestions? Maybe the cybershrink shouldn't answer this, he's probably just going to tell me to grow up, not let it bother me and take it from who it comes. But I just can't. Can't wait for some answers....Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, for a start, tomorrow announce that you have discovered something far more sinister about her --- that she is darn rude and cruel, but that you'd be glad to try to help her find a therapistg brave enough to take her on. Your weight is not only NOT excessive, but absolutely none of her business. it's not you who need to grow up, but this harpy herself !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sweety no more | 2007/02/20

Wow, thanks everyone for all your replies. I feel so much better after having read this. I will rise above it and yes, show her that she hasn't gotten to me. In the meantime I'm going to get back into shape and yes, look the best I can, then see what next she can comment on. I bet there wouldn't be anything and she'll probably start picking on somebody else. Thanks again!

Reply to Sweety no more
Posted by: OVERWEIGHT | 2007/02/20

so it's ok for a FAT person to comment on someone else's weight??
I DON'T THINK SO!!!
Next time ask her, AS OPPOSED TO YOU??????????

Reply to OVERWEIGHT
Posted by: Bibi | 2007/02/20

I am in the same situation,I'm treating her the very same way she treats me.If she doesnt greet me I keep quite,if she asks me something I answer in a cold way.She a general manager,I am a receptionist and I ahve something she doesnt have a slender body hence I am being patronised every chance she getsand I dont even take notice of her and that fustrate the living her.I once told her where to get of in a subtle way regarding work related issues and demaded her to come and sign everything delivered to her.Its either ignore her as if she doesnt exists or speak to her in a manner she will be annoyed but cant say anything,avoid her in all costs.But if it becomes too annoying I say pounce at her (in a sublte and proffessional manner) the moment she at you and demand to have a written letter if she has a problem with you.

Reply to Bibi
Posted by: Rick | 2007/02/20

I've seen an almost identical situation in an office I worked in. A woman that was jealous of another for all the ovious reasons went out of her way to belittle her victim. The victim did nothing open or public, She lost the little bit weight (amazing what 2 or 3 kgs can do to a small framed person) and then went out bought herself some really very expensive and nice clothes. She made sure her hair was always neat and clean, her nails manicured, her make-up perfect and she was always tastefully dressed.

Sure the process of accumulating the clothes and losing some weight did take a little bit of time. After six months or so the snide remarks had subsided. Result? Bitch nailed. Permanently.

The victim remarked to me that the spiteful comments were unnecessary but it did serve as a wake-up call for her to take and long and hard and critical look at herself and she decided that she had become a little lax about her personal care.

Don't stoop. Rise.

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Moo | 2007/02/20

Order her a crane to get from her car to her desk.

Reply to Moo
Posted by: Joanne E | 2007/02/20

And if you think about it -- if you tell friends about the people you work with -- are you more likely to say "this woman is so fat" or "this woman is such a cow" (or a fat cow, lol!) -- people remembre each other's personalities more than their looks. Memories of what we see tend to fade over time but the way other people make us feel is remembered. Would you rather be remembered for being a nice person to work with or the office screaming banshee?

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: Rix | 2007/02/20

We also have a spiteful vindictive b**tch working in the office with us and I have learned that the best thing to do is totally ignore her - she always makes nasty comments about other people and I let it go over my head - when she starts gossiping I think to myself " shame her life must be so empty and boring" I ignore totally or else she tries to make conversation with me - I greet her and that's the end of it! This woman that you were referring to is obviously extremely jealous and has a self-image problem - that's so typical of people like her - draw the attention away from herself and to other people so that no-one notices her faults and flaws! Take it from who it comes - at least you can do something about the way you look, what can be done for someone like her? Unfortuneately there is no thing like a personality transplant - she is in dire need of one!! Don't sink to her level tho - people notice behaviour like hers and you are probably not the first one to have suffered under her spiteful vindictive tongue! Keep your chin up and ignore her - she is jealous!

Reply to Rix
Posted by: Woof | 2007/02/20

Yeah - here is a byatchy comment for you to use -- print a sticker for her car: "abnormal load"....

Reply to Woof
Posted by: Just a comment | 2007/02/20

Quite amazing how the "real" fatties always have to try and be the centre of attraction. I call it the FF Syndrome (Fat F.ck Syndrome). You will always see these abnormal beasts trying to control the office and having to be the centre of attraction. Save the whales - harpoon a fat chick.

Reply to Just a comment
Posted by: RMC | 2007/02/20

Make sure you do your job really well too! You said she is the poorest performing employee. Just how "big" is she? A good come back would have been "I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly" ---- but you are better than her. Don't sink.

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Joanne E | 2007/02/20

Hehe, that was Winston Churchill!

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: -|||- | 2007/02/20

That was a rude thing to say. I agree with Anon. The best form of revenge you can have is to live a happy life and show that the remark didn't get to you. What was this one politician's come back again (when a woman called him drunk at a function) ? He said: " True, I'm drunk and you're ugly. Tomorrow I can be sober.........." :-)

Reply to -|||-
Posted by: Joanne E | 2007/02/20

Sounds to me like she was just grasping for something to find fault with you. You say you might have picked up a little -- like say about 2kg at the most I bet and you sound like you are right at the bottom of the body mass index - as in any less weight and you would be a little underweight. I agree with the others -- she was trying to be mean as she is jealous. You could go and fight fire with fire but the way you described everyone else's reaction it sounds as though she made them feel really uncomfy too. You could say something like, "are you okay, your eyes look puffy" or something like that - but why?

You know, not to preach but the bible is very accurate when it says that when you bless your enemies you will heap burning coals on their heads. What goes around comes around. And I bet everyone in your office is on your side after her comment. Why not be really sweet so that you can be the innocent one in this whole story and she can be the villian.

And no, I don't think CS will tell you to grow up -- anyone would be hurt by that comment.

Go pick out your best outfit - not too sluttty or anything like that, but one that you KNOW turns heads. Wear it with your best make up, your best hair do and walk in there with your head high.

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: anon | 2007/02/19

I totally agree with M. You show that you are better than she is by not reacting! In fact by not reacting, she is not getting what she wanted....so don't feel bad, when you understand where it is coming from, you can actually feel sorry for her.

In the end she is the one that will feel bad. You continue to look your best and believe me 52 kgs 1.62m is not fat at all. Remember what Phil said and say it to yourself each and every day, in fact tomorrow when you are at work and think about it, have a little smile on your lips and a sparkle in your eyes. They will all wonder what is going on, but that will be your revenge!

Go well Girl!

Reply to anon
Posted by: m | 2007/02/19

She is miserable and no doubt jealous about something- maybe your size. She obviously isn't feeling good about herself and wants to bring you down to her level - are you going to stoop to it and play into her court by reacting? people like this don't have our interests at heart. As hard as it is look on her with pity as you have something she desires. When people start with unwelcomed comments I've learn't not to rise to them and just reflect to them something like - is something worrying you, you don't seem yourself today or are you having a bad day, tell me about it!

Reply to m
Posted by: Sweety no more | 2007/02/19

Thanks Phil, I feel 99.9% better already! Confidence restored, haha!!

Reply to Sweety no more
Posted by: Phil | 2007/02/19

1.62 ...... 52kgs??? You sound quite sexy to me.

Reply to Phil

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