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Question
Posted by: anna | 2008/05/22

revenge

I don't know what to do - i want to take revenge by hurting my dad (not killing - i want him to suffer!) because he raped me...but i love my sister, and she's got a great relationship with him, and it would destroy her if something really bad should happen to him - especially if she knows that i am to blame. she knows about the rape, and is very supportive, but she still sees him. (i am 22, she is 24). we both live with our mom and 15yr old brother; my parents are divorced and i never see my dad.

I need to do something - this rage is eating me up inside! I know cutting myself is not a viable solution - because it does NOTHING to my dad while i have to live with even more scars. He needs to be held accountable for his actions!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, see a good psychologist / therapist to take care of yourself --- the cutting is only an interim and self-defeating measure --- you need and deserve help to deal with the consequences of the rape, and to rid yourself of the rage --- for YOUR sake, not his.
If the rape was a long time ago, there may be no chance of success of a prosecution ; if it was recent, it could be useful to report it to the police, especially as a man who can do that to his own daughtwer might also be doing it to others, and should be stopped by the proper authorities. Don't protect him for the sake of your sister's feelings --- if she finds it possible to be pals with a man who raped his daughter, she must accept the risk that one of his victims might report him. He doesn't deserve protection. Don't take any form of other direct personal revenge, as (a) this would NOT make you feel better, and (b) would place you in a similar position to him, in the wrong

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/22

im sorry for your pain. Do not consider revenge, but you should report him to the police as a sex offender. there is no revenge harsh enough to punish him for what he did to you, this way there can be no further victems. what he did was sick. stop worrying about your sister, and take care of yourself and do whats best. please stop him from hurting any other women.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: David | 2008/05/22

Anna I am so sorry this happened to you but revenge is not ours to take as in hurting or maiming someone, but you can go and report him to the police and open up a case against him, this may bring closure to you and give you a sense of "he got what he deserved" and please see a psychologist in helping you to deal with what has happend to you as it does leave long lasting scars and may affect your future relationships with men as far as trust is concerned.

Good luck and all the best

Reply to David

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