Posted by: Angry | 2005/07/06


Can someone please tell me what to do? My BF and I lived together 4 the past 3.5yrs. I'm a divorcee with 2 kids. We split 4 a while, then he came back and decided we should start all over as he wants to settle down. A month ago, he stated that we should all (he, me, kids) go away 4 a w/end. My kids & I were so excited
that he said I should go ahead and reserve a booking, which I did.
That was a month ago....I haven't seen him since!!!! I tried calling him, but he puts the ph off. How can ANYONE be so cruel!! I sms'd him wanting to know what the hell is going on. He, now all of a sudden, feels he doesn't want 2 be in a relationship & is scared of committment!! Well, have I got news for him!!
Naturally, I was HURT!! Now I'm just damn angry!
My question is. Why does anyone have 2 get away with this kind of behaviour, as it is usually a pattern. Yes, I did make a mistake to give him a 2nd chance, but I developed deep feelings 4 him and believe that everyone deserves a 2nd chance. He USED me & that makes me angry. I WILL not let him have the best of both worlds and feel he should be taught a lesson. All his clothes r still with me, & he owes me R1000-00. I will NOT give him his belongings until I get my money back! Is this unfair? Now he wants 2 be friends? he can come back when the going gets tough?? I don't think soooo!! He purchased a car fm me 2 yrs ago, which is still in my name. I have 2 fines o/s on that car, which he refuses to pay. Can I scrap the car? I want him & everything associated with him out of my life 4 good!! I wasted 3.5yrs on an asshole!..I intend 2 make the most of my single status now, & spend more quality time with my kids. It's not easy getting over been jilted TWICE, but with faith, you can do ANYTHING!

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Our expert says:
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Maybe, just maybe, he deserved a second chance, but her certainly does not deserve a third chance. Perfectly fair to insist that he pay back what he owes you. If the car is still in your name, it's yours, but you would be liable for the fines ; check with a lawyer about how to handle that car.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nic | 2005/07/07

Angry too = I dont think it matters if its 3.5 years, 5years, or 25 years.....pain is pain.

Reply to Nic
Posted by: Angry too | 2005/07/06

Hi Angry. You've ONLY wasted 3.5 years? Be lucky it's not FIVE.5 years,and that you did not get married to the creep, just to be in the divorce court 4 months later.I am actually amazed by the way i say "creep", because last week it still felt as if he was my alfa and omega. Last week there was still hope, the fights we had had me on the verge of revenge, but you know what? I tend to agree with Lola, revenge might help for about 5 minutes, thereafter you will feel like a dog. I hope you will reach the stage where i am now. You might feel like the loser know, but boy oh boy, him being out of your life already makes you the winner. You are welcome to mail me if you want to vent some more, i thought i was the only stupid female allowing a man to mess with me. Hang in there.

Reply to Angry too
Posted by: Torture | 2005/07/06

...or u could have him raped by 'n whole bunch of very big very strong guys, take photo's of the gang bang and send him a photo a day for the rest of his life.

Reply to Torture
Posted by: Powerpuff | 2005/07/06

When my husband was a kid the neighbourhood creep ran over his dog. It was a small road - the kindest thing all the kids did to help avenge Toby's murder was brake fluid on the new car...

Reply to Powerpuff
Posted by: Liza | 2005/07/06

You might want to read 'The woman's book of revenge' by Christine Gallagher. Now don't go and do anything it says in the book, just read it. It's really funny and will make you feel a lot better. I see that she has written another book - The woman's book of divorce. I better get that and read it as well. With my whole custody saga I'm really feeling vengeful...

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Jemma | 2005/07/06

Hi Angry. I also sold a car to someone I knew and did not worry that they took for ever to put the car in their name. But then they also got fines and it came to me. When I told them to pay for the fines they refused. So what I did, I went to the traffic department, filled in some forms, had to write a statement saying that I sold the car 2 years ago to so and so and they scrapped the fine from my name. The car is also not on my name any more although it's on no-one's name because they have not registered it yet. This just means that they are going to have a lot of troubel getting the car registered again etc. But that is not your problem. You gave him enough time to do it. Just leave the whole thing. He's the one who's loosing out not you and he's going to realise it soon!!! Tell him you don't want to be friends because he's prooved that he's not a good friend at all. Scrap him from your life. Your children needs a stable life, not someone who only comes into your lifes when he feels like it.

Good luck.

Reply to Jemma
Posted by: Lola | 2005/07/06

You will probably find that revenge won't feel near as satisfying as you think. Instead, pick yourself up, dust that rubbish off, and keep going. Make a success of your life, that will be revenge enough. You should definitly get that car deregistered though. And if he won't pay you your money, sell his stuff.

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Angry | 2005/07/06

Just about everyone, especially my family, has told me to report the car stolen! They know hopw much I've sacrificed 4 this man. He played with my feelings, made promises, used me to his advantage. I just feel that he should be inconvenienced in some way too....
Yes, I know it's sometimes best 2 just walk away, but then sometimes it's also good to DO something. He doesn't deserve to just get away with it.

Reply to Angry
Posted by: nik | 2005/07/06

I feel with you sister, there are some idiots out there who have made a hobby of messing up other people's lives. I'd say report the car stolen too, that way he'll know what it feels like to have cops on his tail

Reply to nik
Posted by: Vengeance | 2005/07/06

if you say scrap the car - it must be in your name? report is stolen! they wont scrap it with outstnading fines either

Reply to Vengeance

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