Our expert says:
Gosh, in the mid-east mass counselling is needed, but I understand what you say.
If you're always around when the anger flares up, it's natural to feel you may be causing it ( thouh of course, you by definition don't get to see the anger when you]re no around ) --- though if there's a lot of lightning around, we generally don't consider that we personally are causing it, but recognize it as related to larger weather issues.
As for the Secret. Cross-dresing, espeially among basially heterosexual males, is far more common than most people think ; moving towards a sex-change is less common, but also arises more than people realize. I hope he is cautious, both in person and online while in the Middle East, where they are as kinky as anyone, but far less tolerant, and in even more unpleasant ways.
I suspect much of his anger dervies from anger with himself about dealing with his contradictory impulses and trying to keep his old skeletons buried. Marriage counselling would help the pair of you, but I understand with his unavailability that's difficult. Personal counselling would certiainly help you, and maybe theat's practical at this time. As for him seeing a shrink --- is his post abroad long-term or open-ended, or will it end soon ? If the latter, it might be practical to speak gently to him in a well-chosen moment ( especially if you can refer to how much i has helped you ) about counselling / psychotherapy.
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