Posted by: Karen | 2013/01/17

Religion and intimacy

I have had an on and off relationship for seven years, we are both single and in our late fifties.
After two years of an intimate relationship, he tells me that he cant have sex with me anymore because it is againts what God tells him, and every time he spend a night with me God punished him, and things went wrong in his life. But after a while we do sleep together, just to be told at the beginning of the year, thats it, no more, and gives me an lecture about religion, making out that his beliefs are strong and mine not.
Otherwise he is an fantastic person and we have a good relationship, should i try and ignore this or end this relationship?

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Our expert says:
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Has he shown signs of eccentric religious / sexual ideas before, or is this new ? New and eccentric religious ideas can be related to various forms of illness, including depression and dementia, but if he has always held similar views, and only recently begun to be bothered by them and to act on them, this may be unexpected by you but more consistent with his longer-term views.
This is hardly the sort of thing you can simply ignore, especially as sex has apparently been an enjoyable and unremarkable part of your relationship this far, and especially as he seems almost to be blaming you for allowing him to act against his beliefs. THink through what you really want and what you can accept in the long-term, and then decide whether the other good things about him are enough for you, to out-weigh his religious scruples and enable you to enjoy a longer but sexless relationship, or whether this is a change in what you had accepted and expected, and not acceptable for you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: 40''ish | 2013/01/21

Id not have sex with him then until he marries me. Very easy to solve. You''ll see how quickly he turns his views.

Reply to 40''ish
Posted by: Leila | 2013/01/17

He''s concience in bothering him. I agree with Anon: respect his decision, - and get married to him.

Reply to Leila
Posted by: Anon2013 | 2013/01/17

Respect his decision.

Reply to Anon2013
Posted by: Ginger | 2013/01/17

Kick him to the curb

Reply to Ginger

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