Posted by: G | 2009/01/07


I know this message will be long but i need some advise from people outside and i dont know where to post this to be honest. I am a 23 year old guy who dated a girl for 4 years she is now turning 20. We have always had our downs as well as goods in our relationships and both made mistakes. We have broken up numerous times but have always tried to fix them. We are both very jealous and possesive and have known it from the begining but alawys tried to improve. On new years she was away with her family and we had a fight over this stupid stuff again and ended up breaking up. The thing is i told her that same day later that afternoon we were being silly and we were ment to be together but she totally pushed me away saying she is sick of how we are the way we treat each other she is right i hate it too. She told me she has been unhappy for long but before she left she was asking for marrige she told me she was happy, i asked her about this and she said she lied about being happy. The thing is i tried for four days to get her to change her mind to make things work at any cost and she does not. I just did not see it coming and have realised that i have to let her go. I am currntly trying the no contact approach and trying to move on but its so hard. Her excuse is that this is easier than being with me and that breaks my heart. i just dont know wat to do anymore

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Our expert says:
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Breaking up is hard to do. You need to let the emotions run down and then see if you can sort things out with your heads. If you are both jealous then you both need to see a counselor to learn now to control this. But whether or not she comes with you ..YOU need to sort out this jealousy for yourself as well because it will cause problems in all your future relationships

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Our users say:
Posted by: Green | 2009/01/07

Move on. It' s over. I had the similar problem this xmas and we ended breaking up but she later asked that we get back.

I' ve asked for a break between us. I needed to clear my mind. Know what I want in a relationship and to find out if she' s worth it.

Reply to Green
Posted by: CT | 2009/01/07

She probably had a holiday romance with another guy hence the strange behaviour and fighting with you for no real reason.

Everyone goes through a major breakup in life and this was probably your first real love, trust me you do get over it in time and you will get a better woman and no she is not the only one for you and no love is not all you need, There are many facets to a relationship and love is only one of them some of the others which are equally important are, Compatibility, Circumstance, Trust and the list goes on, So ofcourse you love her but let it go

Reply to CT
Posted by: Wondering | 2009/01/07

I don' t think your realionship is working well and if you think this is the end of the world, there are PLENTY of women out there and its about time you start growing up and see what' s out there. Date different women, see what you like and dislike. Some people are just not meant to be together and the sooner you move on the better. In a couple of years you will look back and hopefully not make the same mistakes and mature into an awesome friend and lover. You can learn from this relationship but something that just doesn' t work, isn' t mean to be.

Reply to Wondering
Posted by: E | 2009/01/07

i know it is hard and you feel as if your world has fallen apart. better to go through this now, than later, then it will be much harder. Accept this andtry to go on with your life - you can - i know you can!!

Reply to E
Posted by: G | 2009/01/07

I know we both young and both been very stupid but i love her and want to get better with her not with out her. Thats wat i thought a relationship was solving your problems working things out together as long as we love each other all the other stuff can be fixed and changed into wat we want. But it kils me to know that this is wat she truely wants and she wants to move on without me and leave me behind it breaks my heart

Reply to G
Posted by: Tman | 2009/01/07

Still young, you need to grow up when it comes to women. You are full of ego both of you and there is nothing you can do about it. Just take the pain of being in a relationship. Everyone goes via the same way. Enjoy the sweet bitter pain of love, but never abuse her in order to assert your point.

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