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Question
Posted by: happy | 2004/11/18

relationships

Hi
I am doing something that could develop into a problem, unless it already is. I have not been in a relationship for a good year and half now. I am a very sociable guy, good looking and have a happy nature.
The problem is that when i go out and meet women at clubs and bars etc, I tend to get very bored and uninterested with the women, and somehow devise a plan to leave them or make an ass of myself.
Usually on wkends I rent an escort from the internet, i find them very interesting to chat to and enjoy taking them on dates and generally having intercourse afterwards. A few have developed into friendships. Firstly I agree this is an unhealthy lifestyle as it is not real world. I realise that there is some underlying cause of this as it is not natural behaviour. I do practise safe sex and go for regular std tests and aids tests. My friends do not know taht I do this. Please could someone recommend something productive.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe it's just me, but I think that the most interesting people don't usually go to bars and clubs, and the noise levels usual; to such places make it hard to find out if anyoen actually IS interesting. I agree that the escort route isn't a healthy lifestyle ( though having sex with people you don't know well, met at bars and clubs, is unlikely to be any safer ). I gather that many intelligent escorts say that many customers actually want pleasant conversation, sometimes instead of sex --- pity we don't have better non-sexual ways of meeting people for conversation, which so many folks want.
Personal counselling really could help here. As others say, there could be many factors at play here --- fear of committment, of rejection, whatever, related to prior experiences ( a principle widely recognized for hundreds of years before Ron Hubbard borrowed the old concept and dressed it up as "engrams !)

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Our users say:
Posted by: happy | 2004/11/19

Thanx for your all your positive feedback. I will look into all your suggestions. Thank you again

Reply to happy
Posted by: chelle | 2004/11/19

Sounds like there might be some fear of rejection - an escort can't reject you.
Also, an escort gets paid to please you, so it possibly boosts your ego in some way.
Maybe you enjoy feeling as though you are the one in control, which also boosts the ego, and lessens the fear of being rejected.
If you really want to get to the udnerlying cause, you should go for counselling - there are many interesting women out there - so I doubt it's for the lack of being interesting, that you lose interest.

Reply to chelle
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/19

Maybe a fear of commitment, with the escourts you know its just a one night stand, but still risky, even with safe sex i reckon your changes of picking up aids is very high!

Reply to Mona
Posted by: edmund | 2004/11/18

Wow. Hi. There seems to be a general underlying problem(s) that I believe should be discussed with a professional. I do pick up that you have some sort of fear that might be linked to your past or something that happened to you. I have read an interesting book "dianetics" Although I do not agree with all the principals I do believe that problems such as anti social behaviour has some sort of link to an "engram" or "past happening". Sexual preferences does not always mean that your head is screwed on wrong but you must be careful that you do not become a AIDS statistic due to your weekend excursions.

Please seek councelling as soon as posiible.
Kind Regards
Edmund

Reply to edmund

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