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Question
Posted by: young heart | 2004/12/06

relationship with a married man for 4 years

hi, i'm in a relationship with this man for 4 years, he has 2 kids, we love each other so much, and he does everything for me, but he still lives with his wife, please advise me

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Wat are you expecting ? Isn't he using you, as most maried men having affairs, are ? If he hasn't ended his marriage after these 4 years, he's not going to, and he is probably content to remain with his wife and children. Why have you backed yourself into such a sdead-end relationship, when you deserve so much more ?
Married men rarely leave a wife for a mistress, and if they do, they generally seek out a fresh mistress, and are as unfaithful the second time round.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shazz | 2004/12/07

Been there done that, and the big problem was i got caught. Its not worth it because you are the one that gets hurt. The man can go back to his wife and beg for forgiveness, but you will always be the one that went after him, even if it was the other way round. My opinion is, let it go. There are other guys around who are not married and dont have kids. Just remember, it isnt just you, him and the wife that would get hurt, the kids will get hurt worse.

Reply to Shazz
Posted by: Quest | 2004/12/07

isn't it intruiging how all these married men have 2 kids... just got me wondering: could it be possible that all these ladies are involved with just one man? i know it sounds far-fecthed but i mean, really, its too much of a coincidence that all the married men mentioned all have 2 kids??? Maybe, men generally start getting bored with there wives only after 2 kids?

Just Wondering...

Reply to Quest
Posted by: wake up | 2004/12/06

4 YEARS = still no commitment

WHAT A WASTE A TIME A SEX!!!
take about wasting those years being a prostitute to someone who isnt even bothered about being with you...


4 YEARS.... gosh you really need to wake up and realsie you are a special person who deserves soooo MUCH better a man that loves you and not your body just for sex! that wants to be wwith you, to marry you and to cherish you..not to be kept on ths side ..

YOU ARE GOING TO END UP VERY LONELY WITH ABSOLUTLY NOTHING TO LOOK BACK ON AFER ALL THOSE YEARS AS IF YOU ARE NOTHING>>>

Pls dont make the wrong choice here!!!

Reply to wake up
Posted by: Why tire? | 2004/12/06

Word of advice: Married men never leave their wives for their mistresses!! No matter the bad things they say about the wives and believe me - they are not staying for the sake of the kids. They just love their wives and enjoy a swing on the side. You, the mistresses, are & always be - the swing on the side to fulfil his extra-marital sexual desires - AND HE WILL PAY YOU FOR IT. In English, its called passive prostitution...

Reply to Why tire?
Posted by: TOBI | 2004/12/06

STOP STRESSIN GIRL, IF HE DOES NOT LOVE U ANYMORE HE'LL SAY SO, OR IF U SEE IT THAT WAY JUST GET OUIT OF THERE HE DOES NOT DESERVE U AFTER ALL.
SO EVEN MY SELF I PLAY IT SAFE WITH A MARRIED MAN BUT I'M ALSO MARRIED WE DON'T WANT HIS WIFE AND MY HUBBY TO FIND OUT HE ALSO HAS TWO KIDS, HE LOVES HIS WIFE I LOVE MY HUBBY SO THERE ARE NOT STRINGS ATTACHED THE ONLY THING IS FOR US TO SATISFY EACH OTHER AS WE DIG EACH OTHER THERE'S NO HARM AND THAT'S THAT BUT WE ARE CAREFUL COZ WE USE PROTECTIONJ, AND WE DO LOVE EACH OTHER, WHEN I'M NOT WITH HIM I'M WITH HUBBY THE SAME AS HIM, SO WHA'TS TO WORRY THERE SEE NOTHING!!!!!!

IS EEITHER U GO ON WITH HIM OR LEAVE HIM LADY COZ THESE MEN ARE NOT THE SAME IT ALSO DEPEND SHOW HE TREATS U.

Reply to TOBI
Posted by: ME | 2004/12/06

lhalhi
my dear i've been there, it started 5 years ago, and the first 6 months, believe it or not i was the happiest woman ever, i was the queen of the moment, but now, i feel like i want to run away from this planet, cause it is very difficult for me to let it go, but im trying. and he wont leave his wife, im telling you, you are going to have all the best time together, and he'll be lying to his wife just to be with you, but wait until the wife finds out, and even if you can play how safe, but at the end she'll now.

to young heart
what im doing right now, im keeping myself busy with so many things with the hope that one day i will forget him, but it is difficult, but just enjoy it whilst it last. im still repeating what i've said to you earlier on, he wont leave his wife for you.
but again to you, i wish you find your own man

Reply to ME
Posted by: oh my my | 2004/12/06

How can you sleep with this man knwing he has a wife and children!!!!

That is just SHAMEFUL - even if he made all the moves on you... you are being made out to be the tramp!

You need to break ties asap and make a life that is wholesome, non-secretive and full of truth...

if you contiue going this way you are going to end up old lonley and being used just for sex!!!

DO SOME THINKING HERE!

Reply to oh my my
Posted by: Lhalhi | 2004/12/06

I'm also in that situation bt I know I will get hurt bt I dnt want to commit myself to anyone specially getting married.
I've been going out with him for 6months and its been great.
I dnt care who says what, I'm doing this bt I'm also tring to play safe cause I dnt want her wife to find out anyway.
I know it will cause a lot of pain bt we must face this facts, ppl are cheating and we fall inlove with married guys and women.
We should look out, I dnt minf if ppl call me with all sort of names, I know what I'm doing is wrong bt I'm nt letting it go,not now.

Reply to Lhalhi
Posted by: me | 2004/12/06

young heart
you are not alone in this, i have a 5 year relationship with a married man with 2 kids, im still in this relationship cause he said he'll live his wife for me, but years passed by, take it from me my dear, he wont, instead i've realised that im the one who is making the marriage work, in other word they are using me, of which is very sad. as at now he only see me when he needs a favour from me, and he lie and tell me how much he loves me. in the beginning of our relationship he used to tell me how bad his wife is, but right now, im not allowed to even mention the name of the wife, and the last time he told me straight that i must get the hell out of their lives, but he is the one who is after me. my dear he wont leave his wife for you.
im just in a process of getting out of this relationship and start life afresh. it is really hurting, but there's nothing you can do.
he is committed though he lied at first, cause they all say one thing to us "lies"
wishing you all of the best, but just take your time

Reply to me
Posted by: Lee | 2004/12/06

It's simple...just leave him. If he cannot commit after 4 years, why are you wasting your time? It will never happen!!!

Reply to Lee

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