Posted by: CONFUSED | 2008/12/04

relationship trouble

My fiance and I have been together for just over 7 yrs, we have two boys, 6 and 18mnths! Recently, or should i say, within the last 2 months or so, my fiance has started getting really jealous, he has always been jealous, but now it' s out of control. I' m not allowed to wear skirts or dresses, no make-up, he checks my phone and my itemised billing, if my underwear sticks out of my pants all hell breaks loose, lately he thinks i' m flirting with all his friends! Now i know i' m not completely faultless in this relationship, i never said i was but he just doesn' t think what he' s doing is so wrong?? How do i get this across to him without hurting him? I love him and i don' t want to lose him!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is abuse, over-controlling and over-suspicious. And you are giving him way too much control over you. Sit him down calmly and gently explain that you are not cheating, and have no intention of doing so, but that this level of abusive control and accusation is intolerable and will break up the relationship which you value because you actualyl love him. Ask him to join you in marriage counselling --- and if he is so insecure as to insist that HE doesn't need any, remind him that you are both members of this relationship, and that YOU need it, and it can't work without his help, whioch you consider really important.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Genna | 2009/04/15

How do I break-up gentle with my partner and is it right to do it over the telephone?

Reply to Genna
Posted by: CONFUSED | 2008/12/04

I know i have allowed him to treat me this way, and i' ve obviously realized too late that i don' t deserve it! But i want to help him get over it, how do i do this?

Posted by: nonsense | 2008/12/04

lady, everyman will trat you the way you allw hi to. you have allowed this man to control you over the years and now it is getting to you and becoming worse. now you need to reteach him how you want to be treated and trust me it will take a whie. once a man gets used to something, he wants it to be that wy forever.

Reply to nonsense
Posted by: CONFUSED | 2008/12/04

I don' t want to get married just yet, especially with the problems we' re having lately - we' ve both agreed that we will get married when we' re ready, i' ve never pressurised him for that, i' m quite happy with the way things are! He refuses to seek professional help, he doesn' t believe we need it? I know he loves me - and I think the problem is - he just wants me all to himself and he' s scared someone else will take me away??

Posted by: woman | 2008/12/04

how did you manage to give this man so much power over you? is it because you want him to marry you? why does he dictated what you should and shouldn' t do??? he is being abusive - emotionally! get help for both of you, this is totally unhealthy as he has an inferiority complex!

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