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Question
Posted by: CANT win!!! | 2004/10/23

Relationship problems!!!!

Hey

Get ready, here comes a essay......
Ok, im 17 years old and probably 1 of the best lookin guys in my school (not2b vain)......iv got everything going for me....good at school,sport,friendly,funny,motivated...... bla bla.

Ok, so much for the brief background, now to the problem.

I am really good friends with this girl for about 6 months, then in these last holidays we got really close/intimate. We started kissing and fondling and getin close. She has a boyfriend of 6 months............he is my best friend( who doesnt know a thing).............she luvs him to pieces but she is more physically attracted to me as he is "unfortunate"lookin.We share this connection that is so special and u cant break.We tell each oda everything and we are just so right 4 each oda. She even contemplated leavn him 4 me. I fell in love(for the first time ever) with this girl. She is so unique, shes perfect.But then she decided to stay with the oda prick and broke my heart. Now we hardly talk...........

........ what sud i do??? There is this other girl like, but she just startd goin out with another guy, i sense she likes me, ut how do i go about it.

......i know im 1 big mess, i really need ur advise....

thanx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

well things can be a bit messy in relationships, especially when best friends are also involved. The girl concerned has to make her choice, and to be honest because otherwise your best friend is going to get hurt and you may then lose his friendship as well. If she would rather be with you then it is her responsibility to leave her current boyfriend.

The fact that you are now attracted to another girl who is involved may be a coincidence, but be careful this does not become a pattern. Otherwise you may find yourself always wanting something someone else has, which is going to make you feel very unhappy.

The best advice I can give you is to take your time, find someone you like who is also unattached and go from there. This way you CAN win! Otherwsie you may find yourself constantly chasing unavailable girls - a recipe for unhappiness guaranteed!!

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: get it right | 2004/10/28

you know man being a freind real sucks because you look stupied, being a freind has nothing to do with relationship so there is 70% so that people can make fool of yourself because you are too freindly and maybe you dont respond wiht the action, or guys make fool of urself wiht them they are showing you that you are nothing just a person who they can share problems wiht and share happiness wiht others they just messing around but make the right choice you will see which way you should take.

Reply to get it right
Posted by: cheecky | 2004/10/26

Hi there

This comes from a girl and believe me i think you should get rid of that bitch in your life....i know exactly how you feel it is really awfull to be alone but just think of it as discovering your inner self..... I know you think that if you have a g/f it will make you feel better about yourself but i think we are still so young and the best thing to do is to "vry in die bondel" if you know what i mean. Dont look for the girls if you are attractive like you said you are then they will come to you..... I really hope this advice from a girl helps cause I'm still going through that stage in my life and please dont use this nice girl just to make the bitch jealous it will be the biggest mistake cause you might just lose her if she finds out....

ENJOY LIFE YOU ARE STILL YOUNG.....

Reply to cheecky
Posted by: Mornè | 2004/10/24

Hey...

O.k. One thing at a time...

I will respond to your reply in the order that you numbered it...

1) It is clear that the girl you previously dated does not care about you any longer, that the reason for trying to make you jealous and pissed off. Telling her current boyfriend what you and her did before will cause more problems, because if they have to break up now, she will be pissed off at you, and the chances that you and him will have a big fight is 80%.

2) If you think this other girl that you are attracted to and if you really find her cute, give it a try, but as I previously told you, don't be in a rush. Take things slowly and get to know her better before you take things further. And if you think that this girl that you find cute will make your ex jealous, give your ex her own medicine back and go out with this cute girl, but remember, take things slowly!!!

3) It does not necessarily mean if everyone else has girlfriends that you also MUST have one. You have to wait for the right one to come! Having the attitude of "he has a girlfriend, so I must also have one!", is wrong! Don't let group pressure get you down! I know it is nice to have a girlfriend, but don't hurt yourself by being in a rush.

Any further advice needed, feel free to ask, and I will try to think of conclusions for you...

Reply to Mornè
Posted by: CANT win!!! | 2004/10/24

Hey

thanx for the advice.......the problem is that ...
1) i still love the other girl.........1st loves die hard.......i cant stop thinkn bout her, even tho she does small little things to try make me jealous and piss me off, like kiss the other oke in front of my face and tell me how great and funny he is, which isnt true..... i hav even startd thinkn bout telln him bout what me and her did, that should break them up........ she cant go out with me and she doesnt want any 2 hav other g/f's.....

2) the other girl is so cute, shes amazing.....they 2 totally different girls....im physically atracted to the other girl. I wud really like to date the other girl. Mainly cause i like her and because that girl makes the other girl so jealous......

3) i NEED a g/f..........wen chix ask if i hav a g/f, i always tell them no, and they cant believe it. Im sick and tired of being single.....i want a PROPER relationshp and 2 grow with a chick...... im 17 for sheizer's sake...........every1 else has got g/f's except me....

Thanx agen.........

Reply to CANT win!!!
Posted by: Mornè | 2004/10/23

Oh...

Don't let relationship problems get you down at such an early age because it is not worth it, and don't worry, there is still lots of time to have girlfriends. First get your matric and a proper university degree before worrying about girlfriends!

Mornè (16)

Reply to Mornè
Posted by: Mornè | 2004/10/23

Hey!

I know how you feeling! I have been through a similar problem!

My advice is... Get rid of the girls, because from my point of view they only mess around with us guys and use and abuse us. Girls of our age, 16-18, love using guys for their looks and money!

Be good friends with them, but don't get too close too quick, because that is where you make a big mistake. Don't let your hormones control you! First know the girl you really like for a good couple of months and then start getting closer bit by bit. Don't over do it!

Hope I could help a bit! Reply if you'd like and I can perhaps give you more detailed advice!

Regards
Mornè (16)

Reply to Mornè

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