Our expert says:
I understand that you'd like detailed advice on the complex situation you sketch, but that really isn't practical in this format --- we'd need much longer conversations that are possible in this medium, to examine all the relevant aspects of the situation. And I also understand you want to remain close to your dad, and not to add to his stress.
For many people, early in life, death is something which only happens to other people, and it can be as late as one's 20's or even later for whatever reason, that one realizes that it also happens to US. And then one may feel acutely the vulnerability of a loved one, and the prospect of losing them.
What you really need is to see a good local psychotherapist, to explore these issues, including self-confidence, in detail and to work out a more comfortable and sueful way of handling all the issues troubling you. Temptimng though it is for me, it would not actually help you for me to start guessing or making more speific suggestions at a distance and only partially informed.
In addition, family counselling could indeed be useful, if the others would take part sincerely and recognizing the mutual interest in improving things. FAMSA might be able to suggest some local counsellors / family therapists experiences and available.
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