Posted by: What now ? | 2004/11/15

Relationship advice : Best friends ?

Please help... i have broken up with my fiance for over a month ago ... its taken some time but I'm starting to handle it .. the problem is she wants to still be "best friends " .. i dont think this will work as I still have feelings for her ... What should I do ? should I remain friends or should I just cut all ties ?

this is a something she cant understand ... I will never move on if we are still hanging out together ...

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Our expert says:
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The French have a saying, that a door should ne either open or shut ; and I'm similarly sceptical about a relationship left ajar. Explain it gently to her that hanging out together will be likely to make it all the more painful for both of you. And as Mona says, it's especially so in the early months of a break-up. Later, maybe, you can be friends again, but only after you have each achieved independence and become able to reconnect as independent friends.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

Sounds like you know what you are suppose to do... just difficult to do it as you had such strong feelings for her. Best to do is cut all ties, or at least for a couple of months until you know that you are over her.... Imagine hanging out and she hooks up with another guy infront of you, would you be able to handle that?? Or maybe she still wants to stay friends, just so that you can take her out when everyone else is busy... i think its best you go your seperate ways.

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