Our expert says:
Hs he really just started chewing tobacco and drinking ? Or have you changed your attitude towards these bad habits ? Maybe your interest in the other guy has coloured your reaction to these habits ? Your interest in him doesn't sound much like love, and there may be mainly lust involved - or simply a desire for feeling as though you are still attractive.
On the drunk / sober diferences, remember that there is some interesting research on State-Dependent Learning showing that what we learn or experience while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, we may not recall when sober and "straight".
has he ever attempted to get expert help for his alcoholism ? Would he be open to being persuaded to do so ?
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