Posted by: Careless | 2008/07/01


Doc pls help? I’ve been in a relationship for 10mnths now. My boyfriend are struggling to contribute financially and I can't always provide for him. According to him he has allot of debt that he did not tell me about before the relationship. Also have allot of financial commitments and am a single parent of 2 children and just get a small amount of maintenance. I love this man but can afford to maintain him anymore. What am I to do?

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Our expert says:
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He was dishonest not to tell you about his debts before entering into a relationship in which he apparently expects yopu to support him. He ought to see a bank or similar financial advisor to sort out his own debts, and not expect you to carry him. A court can decide what amount of maintenance would be fair for you, if it is possibly too low. Tell him calmly and pleasantly that you are struggling to make ends meet, and just cannot afford to maintain him. Maybe he ought to turn to his family at this time. LOok ater yourself and your kids before him ; surely he can find some sort of job ? And both of you ought to avoid any debts you can, and follow the principles our parents stuck to --- if we can't afford it, we don't get it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: MK | 2008/07/01

Just be careful that he is not just there because you are helping him out financially, Careless. Perhaps you could encourage your boyfriend to find a job that pays a bit more to ease the financial burden on you? Its not easy, I know, but he can at least try. I also think that your first priority should be to ensure that your kids are taken care of before you even spend one cent on your boyfriend, but I am sure you know that!

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