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Question
Posted by: Sam | 2008/01/22

Relationship

Bf and I are living together for 2 year he is married and promised to get a divorce but it does not look like it`s going to happen anytime soon his wife is doing her best to get back with him and I cant take her constant phoning him or sending sms`s I am not the reason they separated I met him only a few month after they separated.My problem is he cheated on me awhile back and he works long hours and will rather go to the bar then come home so we can spend time together. I asked him about it a few times and he said I am trying to control his live and he will not go throug that again meaning his exwife. So I desided to move out and he said he want`s to carry on with our relationship even if I do move.
I`m so confused he realy made me feel bad about myself and I know what he`s doing wrong but I realy love him alot and seem to always fall for his stories about how things will get beter and never does.He also get`s sms from other women I dont know and if I ask him about it he says its just friends its becoming a big problem for me coz he never takes me out reason being he says I dont ge along with poeple I dont know he never gives me a chance to get to know his fiends if he always leaves me at home.
How do I trust him again it`s so hard. .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

His marriage needsd to be over or they need to formally and honestly both agree to make a proper go of it again, including marriage counselling. For him to try to maintain a relationship, with both of you is unfair to both of you. And then he cheats, and goes to bars ? The proble isn't that you are trying to control his life, bu t that he is not bothering to properly control his own life. You know his claims that everything will get better are merely stories, and that he is doing nothing to bring that about. Move on. Keeping you isolated froom his friends, and not going out with you is high;ly suspicious. It wounds more as though he is married and intends to stay that way, and is keeping you as a convenient mistress. See a good local counsellor to work on your self-esteem and assertiveness, and move on --- you deserve much, much better than this !

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1
Our users say:
Posted by: Sadly but true | 2008/01/22

You are unfortunately the rebound girl.

No one can go from a marriage into a serious relationship, you need time to heal and to feel.

And I would also like to mention that divorces take very long, I have a friend who's going for her 3rd year

Reply to Sadly but true

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