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Question
Posted by: Cream | 2006/10/27

Relation

Hi guys,

My bf has been staying with me at my place for almost a year and recently bought his house. We have a son together (2yrs) and have mentioned that he isn't ready for marriage. He still need to have his own stuff (house and independence) before settling down. My question is am i suppose to help him move in, help him buy stuff for the house and decorate the house or am i suppose to back-off..

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm bothered when people make the sort of statement you quote from him, as if there was some section of the constitution that made it compulsory for a man to have his own stuff and house and sow his wild oats before marriage. That's nonsense. When he decided to make you pregnant, he voluntarily gave up his right to be independent and not to settle down, and he needs to grow up and stop being so immature and selfish. No, you certainly should not help him set up this other household in any way, and not contribute a cent towards furnishing it. If he marries you, so that it is your house as well as his, maybe that could be considered --- but if it's to be his temple of independence and his love-nest for other uses --- why should you pay for any of it ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Creep | 2006/10/27

Are you going to move in with him, or have you decided that you want to stay at your place???

Kat, do you really think it's over, what if she's the one who's decided not to move in with him???

Reply to Creep
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/27

depends on if you are moving with him. if yes then you can contribute under the agreement that its your stuff, if your not moving with him then id say its over.

Reply to kat

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