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Posted by: jenny | 2004/11/15

rejected

My husband always reject me when it comes to sex. is there a problem with me or him. saturday he had something to drink and he were rubbing himself by my back and came. he was not even in me. do you think he got some gay problem or is this normal.last night when i lay on him he told me that he is watching tv.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't think he's gay, but I do think he has a sexual problem which, for both of your sakes, he needs to discuss with a counsellor, so he can get over it. You describe this as if it was a relatively recent change. It sounds as if he has a problem of what we call Premature Ejaculation, when a man comes too soon. And maybe he feels shy and ashamed of this, and avoids sex so as not to feel embarrassed. But seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist can solve that problem really well and rapidly. he also sounds uninformed and unskilled sexually, and, if he bothers, can soon learn to perform in ways that satisfy both of you a great deal better. it's not easy to start talking about it, but that's the route towards finding the solution, which is available.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/15

He might have contracted a disease which he does not want to inflict on you. Better find out what is wrong - talk to him - it could be a very sensitive issue.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: jenny | 2004/11/15

i feel the same that if we do it more he will take longer. but i dont thinks he thinks of it in that way. he is never in a mood for adult movies. he say it is crab. he prefer watching sports on tv.he dont even see when i got sexy under clothes . it is like it dont intrest him.

Reply to jenny
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

Oh yes, forgot to add that he most probably comes so quickly because he has long periods in between having sex, if sex was more often i'm sure he would take longer to come.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

Keeping the flame burning in a marriage is hard work, and defenately both peoples responsibility. Getting married is easy, marriage is HARD! Try catch him when he is not tired... maybe first thing in the morning? Maybe get some adult movies to watch at night to excite him a bit? Or just tell him straight that your mind and body is gonna start wondering if he doesnt catch a wake up.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: G | 2004/11/15

JENNY, he sure has a problem and needs to speak to a doc and or maybe a shrink, yes some men do orgasm quickly but he can learn to control his urges to ejaculate, there are books articles etc on this topic he can read the karma sutra if he needs to learn it is not just about his pleasure as most men seem to think it is about both and it is hard work ensuring your female partner reaches her max so no you are selfish or short sighted he needs to find the root of his issues

Reply to G
Posted by: jenny | 2004/11/15

i did not have time to do that, by the time i realised he came already. he always comes very quick, he never takes long.
if i want to arrange things like that, candles ect. he always say that he is not in a mood. he is always tired or not in the mood.
i feel i am missing something in my life being married to him. it is like i dont know him. it is like he is not giving everything. we are married for 10 years now. i feel he is not my soul mate. i dont really now where i stand with him in my relationship.

he never opens the door to let me in

Reply to jenny
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/15

When he was rubbing himself against you, why didnt you take the opportunity to have sex then? Arrange for a candle light dinner, some bubble bath with champs, set the mood with some music, and if he still doesnt want anything ask him if he has a physical problem, or whats going on.... You need to talk about it or its gonna become a big problem.

Reply to Mona

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