Posted by: Disappointed | 2008/08/06

referee between 2nd husband and my kids

I am so hardsore the people that i love most in the world can not stand each other.
i got married a few years ago with a man that seemed to have accepted my children as his own. Things started going wrong once we had a child together. He is irritated with them and feels a urge to defend the little one against not just them but me as well. he breaks my children down verbally. my teenage daughter is well mannerd and responsible for her age. and get shouted at for every little thing. none of her friends are acceptable in his eyes. as he believe to be the king of judging characters. My other daugter a bit younger used to be is everything, pushed her away from him. he also gives us the silent treatment when he is unhappy. and there is almost always a horrible atmosphere in the house. They have also stopped asking him lately for permission as he would just say no without listing to there reasoning.
The kids want to move back to there dad to get away from them, i will not let that happen, if i have to choose between my children and him, how can i take his side.
This has been going on for a while now and i think i have just had enough. i feel that i am at a point where i no longer can allow things to carry on like this.
I dont know what to do. please give me some advice?

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Our expert says:
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Family therapy with a marriage counselor. I wonder what else is happening in his life and attitudes to have produced this unpleasant change in how he relates to the children.

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Our users say:
Posted by: I | 2008/08/06

You must both go for counselling - if he can' t change his behaviour u don' t have the right to choose him over your kids, nor does he even deserve that.
You can' t treat children like that. They may start to resent the youngest one and can u imagine what it does to their self-worth growing up in such a hostile environment?
He needs to get his act together, he knew u had kids when he married u.

Reply to I
Posted by: ME | 2008/08/06

So sorry to hear that gal. I know it can be very hard. How can he love you if he find it so hard to love your kids?. I don' t think yo guys deserve such treatment. Did you talked to him about this?...maybe try that as well.
I mean, I' ve got a teenage step-daughter, though we have our differences, but i love her and I treat her as my own child. Talk to hubby, express your feelings and see what it goes. Maybe you can also go for councilling.

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