Posted by: Cool | 2003/03/04


I would like to thank everyone for their valuable input and it helps, I read it over and tried not to think of anything else.

I have another question though. Why does he feels the need to break up with me so many times, does he enjoy seeing me cry, is it a power thing, does he want to prove something to himself? I find it very disturbing that after we had our arguement and my tears are wiped he pretends that nothing happened followed by requests for massages and then sex.
He tells me that he cant handle being with me anymore and that he wants to be left alone aswell as telling me how much he loves me the same time. It hurts me that he tells me he loves me and yet doesnt want to be with me. He is not very open with me and I always find myself asking questions which he claims is interrogation.

Please shed some light.


Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Cool,
Do you want to leave this guy, or just to understand him, while he continues to treat you badly ? It may well be a "power thing", something that makes him feel in charge of events, to break up with you so often. When he is hurtful to you, then acs as if nothing happened, this suggests that to him, nothing significant did happen --- in other words, that to him, your hurt wasn't anything much.
And it's ambivalent twaddle to say he loves you, while he acts in an unloving manner, and that he can't live with you although he loves you. It reminds me of the title of a popular recent New York musical : " I Love You ; You're Perfect ; Now Change !"
Are you really ntent on trying to reform this uncaring, uncommunicative and resistant bloke, rather than to get on with your life and find a good guy who won't need so much work ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ice | 2003/03/04

Hi cool
This is a very yukky situation, I know. This may sound silly but have you watched the movie "Someone Like You" starring Ashley Judd, well it really helped me once I realized that he was no good for me. Take my advice, take the movie out and invite all your girlfriends. You won’t be sorry.
Enjoy it and I hope everything works out for the best – Good Luck.

Reply to ice
Posted by: sadeyes | 2003/03/04

Hey Cool
I was once "the victim" but you know one day I really opened my eyes and discovered that I was the victim because I was allowing it. It is sad when we allow someone so much power over us. I had the same problem ( the crying thing) I cry very easily and mt b/f hated that. Since I have put my life together he has so much more respect for me. He treats me very well and actually makes a point of proving how much I mean in his life. His behaviour changed because I changed - I became a strong willed person who did not take any crap what so ever and today we are friends - and Yes he still loves me very much and I love him as well ( with all my heart) the only difference now is that we talk about everything. We are always open and honest. I hope that one day we will be together and have a relationship filled with love, respect and honesty. So far so good. I am giving our relationship a fighting chance, but you need to lay down the rules - If he keeps on breaking up with you - DUMP him and just keep quite - dont contact him at all - he will come to his senses. At some point we have to test the waters and see what happens.

Reply to sadeyes

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.