Our expert says:
Hi C & F
The one thing to expect when you are expecting, and after birth is a reduced frequency of sexual activity. There are many reasons for why a pregnant, and recently pregnant woman would be less interested in sex during this time, including fatigue, change in hormones, nausea, change in body shape, heartburn and anxiety over the safety of the pregnancy.
As a couple you will be adjusting from a relatively free life, to a life carrying the responsibility that comes with all the joys and challenges of having a new baby. In keeping with this, you will need to adjust your expectations for sex, and perhaps adjust the nature of sexual activity (eg moving from penetrative to non-penetrative sex) and above all keep communicating with your wife all the time. It is equally important for her to understand your feelings, and how the arrival of the baby has changed things for you. A man can often feel marginalized in the first several months after birth, and especially feels this absence when sexual activity diminishes. If this is your situation, then find ways of clearly communicating this to your spouse.
Your current frequency of sexual activity is above average for the stage you are at, so perhaps don't get too caught up in the issue of sexual frequency. Maintain intimacy, keep up your care and consideration, be involved with the care of the baby, this will nurture your relationship during this temporary lull in sexual activity and in all like likelihood help it to increase.
It would be preferable to control your libido without medication, but there are testosterone blockers and other medications that can reduce libido. You should discuss these with your doctor only if absolutely necessary.
Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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